My rebound

I photocopy my feelings
You see I don't really miss you
I say I miss you when I really miss her
 I say I love you when I mean her

The smiles you see In my "I love you's" are duplicates of what I felt for her

I sit with you at the dinner table
I take the pen to sign the cheques and I'm simply writing numbers
Actually that's just a literal expression transcribed on paper signifying how many times one heart beat thought about her instead of you

I really don't get why I'm doing this
And I honestly don't want to
I'm not gona blame this on the cliche "residual"
Cuz she said ....
And here I am again

Every time I stare at you
My faith plays hop scotch on broken memories
My pores are poets that spew rhythmic verses passionately into the mike of my heart and every beat echoes her faint caress , her strength

I'm sorry
But I am broken
My tune will never end
My train of thought will never change course
And hoarse is my voice every time I try to scream at my blood vessels to make them believe that I can love you
No I can't love you
No I can't teach you
All I can give you is a duplicate
Probably a duplicate of what another nigga is suppose to give to you
But my words are only wreaths I extend to the grave yards of her live ghosts
And My pain plays host to your vulnerability



you used an incorrect formula to solve your heart problems
You multiplied your fantasies with your dreams
Wrote your answers with the pen of hope and the answer you should have gotten was " believe that you deserve better than this facade"
But you miscalculated , instead your answer was " mr. Perfect" and like most kids the closest response to your ideal was option (d)settling for second best


I divided your legs and subtracted your essence adding a sweet nothingness you call love
While through the entire ride I
Yes I was lifeless

You thought I made love to you
But every deep stroke I was trying to find my way out of my bottomless grief
With every stroke I felt you expand and contract
Dialating around an instrument that wasn't thinking about you
You thought my dick was a compass
Thinking that as I navigated you to ecstasy
I would have stayed on the island of "we"
But you are a cast away
And my feelings only visit you once a week because her shores I can no longer find

With you I never reached a climax of pleasure
I only reached a climax of issues pounding in my head, the things I never said , my mistakes ,long picnics ,kissing , hugging , cuddling with her ...all this bliss , things I miss
Atoms of passions splitting in the teardrops of suppression
And I only cum ..cuz I could never figure out the answer
Never figure out why I left
Never figure out why she left

And for one single moment
I clasp my eyelids
And I pray to be forgiven of the sin
I pretend that you are her and I say
"I love you"

My darling
You are my beautiful rebound
Though I do not love you
You're this meaningless activity I use to keep me busy
You're that subject I took just so I can skult being at home to do the dishes
You're that moment when strangers walk into the room and I stare into my phone to pretend like I'm doing something important
You're that sneakers I wear just cuz my friends got one , and I wanna fit in

You're are my beautiful rebound
I wish you could taste my duplicate
And simply accept it for what it is ...