He played with the instruments
The tools given to him by God
Rock ! Paper ! Scissors ! ....
Time wasted
Trying to understand the rock
He is ...
Mighty as mountains
But in the midst of 4 walls he crumbles
And smears his rock On this piece of paper !
This paper :
The indestructible sheet of love kissed by the signature of God's right thumb ....
He collected specimens , some of which he adored
Played a game of explore
They loved him ....
The teacher that inspired
But they couldn't see
that this teacher only did this ..
Used this to find him ...
And to distract him from the fire that gnaws at the peace within
He is innocent !
For he knew not the purpose of the rock
Or the function of the paper
He knew not that as a rock he is greater than the beauty in physical state ...
Lack of this nurtured a testing untrusting mind that projected the invitation ....and your acceptance only disappointed him
he too longs for someone that sees his tears in his caves hidden
Tears icicled by anger
This man ....cannot understand his instruments if he finds that he cannot be understood
So he is constantly fashioning different ways to draw you nearer ...
But you stop to admire the fox gloves that scent his hair or the lavender and pomegranates on his lips
I beg of you forgive him
He is innocent
Forgive him if he crumbles before you meet the summit of conversations or therapeutic exercises disguised in trying to figure out his " blank expressions"
Forgive him if he writes love letters on the purest of his mind's flesh and presents you with the ghost of it ... And suddenly his sweet persona vanishes ...
Understand it was never intentional for him to love, leave or hurt you.
He is innocent ...... An innocent murderer
His tongue
The best crafted scissors of the land
Intended to clip and trim and precisely remove
Doubt from strong willed minds
Or shape the soul of another with the truth
Or trim the opinions of others from ur dreams so that you may see yourself .... Beautifully reflected in the image of your maker
But instead
He clipped reality ..from your fantasies
Shaped your world ... And stripped it into minute dots
He is .....
A boy searching for a love and ur love was only the shoulder for him to find true love within himself ....
A man ... Struggling ..Scared ...and of sharpened senses
Always testing . Trying to detect the lies of true love .. The imperfections of its seeming perfection ...
This prince is a frog
Leaping from pod to pod
Leaping from lover to lust to deceit to ascension , to Descension , to love , to true love , to true love ,
And nothing seems pure or stable enough
Scared that the pod that holds him will tear
And jumping continuously increases the fear
So he jumps from true love suspecting it to soon run sour. .. Pray not he slips on to the pod of karma that will only take him across the " rivers styx" ...
There is no way you can find peace in trying to figure out this game of leap frog ....
His grief is greener than his skin !
So . To his supposed victims
I plead with you.. Forgive him...for
He is innocent ......just an innocent murderer
Monday, 31 December 2012
Sunday, 30 December 2012
The Most Honest Parts Of Me .......
I find ...
That the most honest parts of me
Is a world I run from .. Often !
A world ...
Where memories are like razor's edge
And to look or touch is testing death
That's more alive than the life I live
A world
Where symphonies of lies are used to bridge the path to tree houses I crafted to protect u
Protect the ones I love and nurse them on a dream titled : " I am happy"
Sigh..
What a far-fetched ideal ..
A world
Where decaying emblems of my spirit
Lay ...
Fresh
And still ,
where maggots of your image still squirm and slime between the rotten flesh of our memories
Where the roots of broken dreams stretch their toxins through the soil of peace of mind ...
A world
Where sadness masturbates
And ejaculates on my innocence
Where vulnerability has been raped by monstrous fingers of judgment !
Where my heart's courage still meanders through the coma of fear and resentment
And the thorns of love lost whips the back of the broken pieces ....daily !
Where the steaming hot iron of hurt is continuously rammed between my thighs of affection !
These are the honest part of me
It is a world ... I run from ... Often ....
A theme song that mumbles ..
The opera to the moments you disappointment
Hurt
Reject
And love me ..... conveniently
Where every failure is an added instrument to the orchestra
And sullen bodily organs ..are too weak to fight the procession
That the most honest parts of me
Is a world I run from .. Often !
A world ...
Where memories are like razor's edge
And to look or touch is testing death
That's more alive than the life I live
A world
Where symphonies of lies are used to bridge the path to tree houses I crafted to protect u
Protect the ones I love and nurse them on a dream titled : " I am happy"
Sigh..
What a far-fetched ideal ..
A world
Where decaying emblems of my spirit
Lay ...
Fresh
And still ,
where maggots of your image still squirm and slime between the rotten flesh of our memories
Where the roots of broken dreams stretch their toxins through the soil of peace of mind ...
A world
Where sadness masturbates
And ejaculates on my innocence
Where vulnerability has been raped by monstrous fingers of judgment !
Where my heart's courage still meanders through the coma of fear and resentment
And the thorns of love lost whips the back of the broken pieces ....daily !
Where the steaming hot iron of hurt is continuously rammed between my thighs of affection !
These are the honest part of me
It is a world ... I run from ... Often ....
A theme song that mumbles ..
The opera to the moments you disappointment
Hurt
Reject
And love me ..... conveniently
Where every failure is an added instrument to the orchestra
And sullen bodily organs ..are too weak to fight the procession
Eye lids
You are my eyelids ..
When those curtains close .
I'm still happy
For even In sleep ..I see , I breathe I feel you
You are my eye lids
The protector of the most delicate parts of me
The most vulnerable part of me
In your absence ... I'd be blind
Your lashes of affection ..
Cover my nakedness with valour and honour !
My sight is afraid of heights ..
Climbing the towers of time to watch you from a distance !
But there you were .. In my lashes .. On my eye lids ...
You heightened the protection of my eyes from the fears ... The dust of fear and confusion
Dust of loneliness ....
Dust of jealousy ....
You drink my tears of happiness
Your shoulders become the cliffs that allow the salt of fire that fall so diligently
Spreading them evenly
To rinse my cheeks ...
You are the accent to my charm ..
You are the glass , the frame-work to the window .. And your thumb prints can be found on my soul ...
You are my eyelids ...
Giving me just about 3 seconds to see the world and I blink ...for I have missed you too much ..
When those curtains close .
I'm still happy
For even In sleep ..I see , I breathe I feel you
You are my eye lids
The protector of the most delicate parts of me
The most vulnerable part of me
In your absence ... I'd be blind
Your lashes of affection ..
Cover my nakedness with valour and honour !
My sight is afraid of heights ..
Climbing the towers of time to watch you from a distance !
But there you were .. In my lashes .. On my eye lids ...
You heightened the protection of my eyes from the fears ... The dust of fear and confusion
Dust of loneliness ....
Dust of jealousy ....
You drink my tears of happiness
Your shoulders become the cliffs that allow the salt of fire that fall so diligently
Spreading them evenly
To rinse my cheeks ...
You are the accent to my charm ..
You are the glass , the frame-work to the window .. And your thumb prints can be found on my soul ...
You are my eyelids ...
Giving me just about 3 seconds to see the world and I blink ...for I have missed you too much ..
Saturday, 29 December 2012
Super Child (Woman)
The child that had to be everything
The nights that feet were stabbed by the deceit of the world ..
She returns
Not to cry ... But to play therapist to those at home
her ankles are ripped open
blood spews
headaches bombard her thoughts that long for peace ....
But she is Super Child
The girl that smiles . While her spirit is wounded ....
The girl that tends to the world ...when caves of care are destroyed by rejection
The Child that played adult
The child that cared , loved , thought , spoke , acted ... Like woman ... But never was
The child who carried suicidal notes on her finger nails , and bawled , clawed her intuition for answers that returned silence
The super child that pretended to be the pillar of strength for her " figures of strength "
The super child that pretended to dance and be all that you wanted ... Whilst fingers were nailed by the dry bones of desolation
Whilst heart operated with one chamber dotted by holes ....pierced by bullets of " backs turned " , love lost , anguish , confusion and sadness
And in the midst of all this ...she gave you each day the paintings of perfect happiness and rich company !
The super child !
She was ....
Tending and tending
And she bled and .... Bleeds ...
Tending
As she continues to hide the white dress that conceals the blood of her soul ... After her spirit's hymen has been brutally hooked and bludgoned by the hands of those she loved and trusted
The super child that is favoured by God
And at the end of it all still clings to hope
she crawls through life surviving on the last pint of strength , of hope , of love , of innocence ...
And if you need it ... Just to make you smile
She would sacrifice it all .
But all you seem to see
Is the woman ....
The trained aura
The facade ... That seems so real
And you care not to see beyond
For u feed on her ..
Depressing her ... But the fact that u show no concern to see behind the pretty door
Will all too soon Kill her
one day
She shall .. Release her gems ...to those whether deserving or undeserving
The last pint of blood she shall sacrifice
And death ....she feels may offer peace of mind ....
The nights that feet were stabbed by the deceit of the world ..
She returns
Not to cry ... But to play therapist to those at home
her ankles are ripped open
blood spews
headaches bombard her thoughts that long for peace ....
But she is Super Child
The girl that smiles . While her spirit is wounded ....
The girl that tends to the world ...when caves of care are destroyed by rejection
The Child that played adult
The child that cared , loved , thought , spoke , acted ... Like woman ... But never was
The child who carried suicidal notes on her finger nails , and bawled , clawed her intuition for answers that returned silence
The super child that pretended to be the pillar of strength for her " figures of strength "
The super child that pretended to dance and be all that you wanted ... Whilst fingers were nailed by the dry bones of desolation
Whilst heart operated with one chamber dotted by holes ....pierced by bullets of " backs turned " , love lost , anguish , confusion and sadness
And in the midst of all this ...she gave you each day the paintings of perfect happiness and rich company !
The super child !
She was ....
Tending and tending
And she bled and .... Bleeds ...
Tending
As she continues to hide the white dress that conceals the blood of her soul ... After her spirit's hymen has been brutally hooked and bludgoned by the hands of those she loved and trusted
The super child that is favoured by God
And at the end of it all still clings to hope
she crawls through life surviving on the last pint of strength , of hope , of love , of innocence ...
And if you need it ... Just to make you smile
She would sacrifice it all .
But all you seem to see
Is the woman ....
The trained aura
The facade ... That seems so real
And you care not to see beyond
For u feed on her ..
Depressing her ... But the fact that u show no concern to see behind the pretty door
Will all too soon Kill her
one day
She shall .. Release her gems ...to those whether deserving or undeserving
The last pint of blood she shall sacrifice
And death ....she feels may offer peace of mind ....
Friday, 28 December 2012
Tormented !
I lay here
Once more ...
Reading as usual ...
and as eyes close for a silent pause of rest
My lips were bitten
The memories keep flashing
Like a cold sweat of longings
Nothing seems to work in these moments of torment !
My tongue begins to taste my upper lip
Flashbacks that range from rage filled kisses to " I am yours ...always " kind of kisses
And I try ...
Try to fight and resist
But it's pointless
I remember the :
Touch
Scent
Warmth
sweat
taste
stare
awe of ..your presence
The voice ..
These spasms of remembrance
These epileptic fits of still wanting it all
The skin longs to feel ....and sigh in contentment
The heart longs to beat to the tune of life again my eyes ...are but barren lands
Hands are but starved children
Feet are but dying soldiers
Wrapped up in this blanket of " pain and true love "
I'm scared to give into these spasms
To re live and make love to the memories
To kiss the invisible lips that taste mine
As I lay half conscious
I'm scared to clench the hands that
Pull me closer
I'm scared to inhale ur breath !
To whisper how much iv missed and loved u
...Love you
I scared to give into to the spirit that torments me ....
I'm scared to resurrect the desires , strong , bold and fearless ! Clad in the poison of witch's hurt you've served ...
I'm scared to love it all .... Again
scared to think that I'd love . Loving it
scared to think you would become my favourite nightmare ...
Oh these sweet torments
And the unforgettable moments like leeches that suckle on love reserved
When ?
When will it end ?
Once more ...
Reading as usual ...
and as eyes close for a silent pause of rest
My lips were bitten
The memories keep flashing
Like a cold sweat of longings
Nothing seems to work in these moments of torment !
My tongue begins to taste my upper lip
Flashbacks that range from rage filled kisses to " I am yours ...always " kind of kisses
And I try ...
Try to fight and resist
But it's pointless
I remember the :
Touch
Scent
Warmth
sweat
taste
stare
awe of ..your presence
The voice ..
These spasms of remembrance
These epileptic fits of still wanting it all
The skin longs to feel ....and sigh in contentment
The heart longs to beat to the tune of life again my eyes ...are but barren lands
Hands are but starved children
Feet are but dying soldiers
Wrapped up in this blanket of " pain and true love "
I'm scared to give into these spasms
To re live and make love to the memories
To kiss the invisible lips that taste mine
As I lay half conscious
I'm scared to clench the hands that
Pull me closer
I'm scared to inhale ur breath !
To whisper how much iv missed and loved u
...Love you
I scared to give into to the spirit that torments me ....
I'm scared to resurrect the desires , strong , bold and fearless ! Clad in the poison of witch's hurt you've served ...
I'm scared to love it all .... Again
scared to think that I'd love . Loving it
scared to think you would become my favourite nightmare ...
Oh these sweet torments
And the unforgettable moments like leeches that suckle on love reserved
When ?
When will it end ?
Thursday, 27 December 2012
Depth ...
How often do we swim on the surface of depth
Taste her saltiness
Drink the diluted understanding
But depth beckons our souls
To go a bit further
To dive
To move far from the reality above
To fear not the pressure of life's unknown on our lungs
If only
We were to dive
To the sea's floor
Willing our minds to feed on the oxygen of faith
And observe the depth of life
That doesn't surface
But this ....comes with pain
Requires that we bleed the stubbornness that holds fast to reality we see with blurred lens
Requires that the tear bags of hidden pain be pricked and distilled of subjective thought
And alas see the reality of lessons we ignored
Depth requires forsaking the submission to desires
Depth isn't the mere heart of an onion
Or the dust of truth exchanged between mortals ...
Depth Soars beyond
Soars beyond the craft and intellect of time
Soars in the whips and lashes under wings in skies
Depth creates the channel for reason to flow
And how often do we pay attention to the latin on the walls
Translating the ancient dialect with the spiritual dictionary buried within our souls
And if we just listen .... Not to the world but to tunes of Summoned intuition
We would see that
Depth isn't the eluding truth we see in the distance.
Depth is simply the higher us ...
We have stifled .. And the drums ... Of life's truth now a distant sound that forever longs to lead us home
Taste her saltiness
Drink the diluted understanding
But depth beckons our souls
To go a bit further
To dive
To move far from the reality above
To fear not the pressure of life's unknown on our lungs
If only
We were to dive
To the sea's floor
Willing our minds to feed on the oxygen of faith
And observe the depth of life
That doesn't surface
But this ....comes with pain
Requires that we bleed the stubbornness that holds fast to reality we see with blurred lens
Requires that the tear bags of hidden pain be pricked and distilled of subjective thought
And alas see the reality of lessons we ignored
Depth requires forsaking the submission to desires
Depth isn't the mere heart of an onion
Or the dust of truth exchanged between mortals ...
Depth Soars beyond
Soars beyond the craft and intellect of time
Soars in the whips and lashes under wings in skies
Depth creates the channel for reason to flow
And how often do we pay attention to the latin on the walls
Translating the ancient dialect with the spiritual dictionary buried within our souls
And if we just listen .... Not to the world but to tunes of Summoned intuition
We would see that
Depth isn't the eluding truth we see in the distance.
Depth is simply the higher us ...
We have stifled .. And the drums ... Of life's truth now a distant sound that forever longs to lead us home
Never Accept !
Why does the dead flesh sigh?
Why do leaves at the end of the watery channel cry out to the trees .... Knowing that impending doom is sealed !
Or splinters of star dust cry after stumbling from heaven's door
Why do they react ?
Why do we not accept ?
Why do we cry for help whilst slipping through gravity's hand ... As we fall from the cliff?
We must place the salt on our eyes !
We must digest the acid !
We must play the swan .....
Graceful , humble ,
Gliding across choppy waters !
We need not accept the given door ...
But create our own
We need not fear or scream when falling off the cliff
The seeming option .... Death ?
No !
How about turn around in mid air
Face the choppy waters !
And dive !
Dive into escape !
Dive through the option of death . Into tomorrow
We need never accept the option given.... !
We need never to accept !
Why do leaves at the end of the watery channel cry out to the trees .... Knowing that impending doom is sealed !
Or splinters of star dust cry after stumbling from heaven's door
Why do they react ?
Why do we not accept ?
Why do we cry for help whilst slipping through gravity's hand ... As we fall from the cliff?
We must place the salt on our eyes !
We must digest the acid !
We must play the swan .....
Graceful , humble ,
Gliding across choppy waters !
We need not accept the given door ...
But create our own
We need not fear or scream when falling off the cliff
The seeming option .... Death ?
No !
How about turn around in mid air
Face the choppy waters !
And dive !
Dive into escape !
Dive through the option of death . Into tomorrow
We need never accept the option given.... !
We need never to accept !
Ghostly Waters
She takes a deep breath !
Sinks into ghostly waters
Behold the murky truth !
Ghosts of :
Tears
Fears
Dreams
Dancing in silky white and blue pigmented waves
She watches with glee
Chasing ..... Them one after the other
Dancing with them
Staring
Kissing
Holding
Soaring over waves ....
Riding the currents of time past , present and future ...
But in ghostly waters time stands still
Clasping hands with ghosts
Falling in love with a hollowness
Diving further away from life
As sweet faint familiar scents awakens
Dead spirits .. That must not be resurrected
But reality intercepts
Turns her heart light blue
And eyes that are heavy with grey skies
To the surface she must return
But even after near death experience
Tomorrow she returns to
the ghostly waters ....to drink ... To feel human again ...
Sinks into ghostly waters
Behold the murky truth !
Ghosts of :
Tears
Fears
Dreams
Dancing in silky white and blue pigmented waves
She watches with glee
Chasing ..... Them one after the other
Dancing with them
Staring
Kissing
Holding
Soaring over waves ....
Riding the currents of time past , present and future ...
But in ghostly waters time stands still
Clasping hands with ghosts
Falling in love with a hollowness
Diving further away from life
As sweet faint familiar scents awakens
Dead spirits .. That must not be resurrected
But reality intercepts
Turns her heart light blue
And eyes that are heavy with grey skies
To the surface she must return
But even after near death experience
Tomorrow she returns to
the ghostly waters ....to drink ... To feel human again ...
Can I be Honest ?
Can I be honest ?
I wana
Sing!
Laugh !
And play with u !
On a summer day of the star I named after you
Apart of me still remembers ... Almost vividly
Why the scars you've given me are the worst reminders that monsters are real..
Can I be honest ?
You are my favourite monster
Yes !
U scare the doubt in me
The real me rises to the surface of my lips and u taste it ... So eloquently with the breath of ur stare
And I love it
You are my favourite infection and I love
To feel sick with "you "!....
Your temporary moments of making me feel as though you'd actually love me . Made me feel real
And When the moments cease I feel plastic ... And the dullness of life ...is but a Ghastly prospect
Poisons my space .... For you are life .. Distilled !
Can I be honest ?
I'm longing to scratch the inner surface of me that's longing to kick ,pull, push and scream and tell you
how much I want to stay!
How much I want to stay!
How much I want to stay !
Can I be honest ?
I hate the way u left me
If not for intellect .. Hmmm
My reaction ..probably would have been psychotic towards both of us
U snatched my lungs
And smoked them with harsh truth
A truth I already knew but .. Couldn't u have consulted with your conscience ?
After aLl its the least I deserved after neglecting me and loving u
Neglecting me and loving u
Neglecting me
And loving u ......
Honestly speaking ....
If I saw u .. ... Deep within the crevices of me
I'd still want to taste , love and adore u
With all of me and the extra I grew to support the me you killed with ur unreciprocated love
But I'd lie
Pretend like I really don't care
Pretend like happy is my permanent lip colour
Pretend like eyes no longer wish to discover the forests of ur words or connection
Pretend like I couldn't hear ur heart beat calling me
Pretend like my heart isn't turning blue ..or eyes evoking blood ..
Pretend like I'd never love u ..again
Pretend like the option of friendship is cool
When none of the above are true
Can I be honest ?
I too , am confused
I don't love you .....
I love the pictures and memories of us before you scalded my tongue ...
My dear you'd never taste the same again
And regardless of how much ... I paint the waLls with forget ... The grains of hurt .. Distorts the finished .. Feel ...
And friendship ?
It's just a reminder that I wanted you
And that maybe I still want you
And that I loved you..
And maybe .. I'd still love you ..
Friendship ...hmmm
Its the next best option
But a mere dream
And its just a connection that would lead to my dying slowly ...
I wana
Sing!
Laugh !
And play with u !
On a summer day of the star I named after you
Apart of me still remembers ... Almost vividly
Why the scars you've given me are the worst reminders that monsters are real..
Can I be honest ?
You are my favourite monster
Yes !
U scare the doubt in me
The real me rises to the surface of my lips and u taste it ... So eloquently with the breath of ur stare
And I love it
You are my favourite infection and I love
To feel sick with "you "!....
Your temporary moments of making me feel as though you'd actually love me . Made me feel real
And When the moments cease I feel plastic ... And the dullness of life ...is but a Ghastly prospect
Poisons my space .... For you are life .. Distilled !
Can I be honest ?
I'm longing to scratch the inner surface of me that's longing to kick ,pull, push and scream and tell you
how much I want to stay!
How much I want to stay!
How much I want to stay !
Can I be honest ?
I hate the way u left me
If not for intellect .. Hmmm
My reaction ..probably would have been psychotic towards both of us
U snatched my lungs
And smoked them with harsh truth
A truth I already knew but .. Couldn't u have consulted with your conscience ?
After aLl its the least I deserved after neglecting me and loving u
Neglecting me and loving u
Neglecting me
And loving u ......
Honestly speaking ....
If I saw u .. ... Deep within the crevices of me
I'd still want to taste , love and adore u
With all of me and the extra I grew to support the me you killed with ur unreciprocated love
But I'd lie
Pretend like I really don't care
Pretend like happy is my permanent lip colour
Pretend like eyes no longer wish to discover the forests of ur words or connection
Pretend like I couldn't hear ur heart beat calling me
Pretend like my heart isn't turning blue ..or eyes evoking blood ..
Pretend like I'd never love u ..again
Pretend like the option of friendship is cool
When none of the above are true
Can I be honest ?
I too , am confused
I don't love you .....
I love the pictures and memories of us before you scalded my tongue ...
My dear you'd never taste the same again
And regardless of how much ... I paint the waLls with forget ... The grains of hurt .. Distorts the finished .. Feel ...
And friendship ?
It's just a reminder that I wanted you
And that maybe I still want you
And that I loved you..
And maybe .. I'd still love you ..
Friendship ...hmmm
Its the next best option
But a mere dream
And its just a connection that would lead to my dying slowly ...
Into the Darkness I slip
I know better
But I pretend to enjoy the game
I feel alive when in this trance
Reshaped
Re sculpted in the fire of the real I want
But I'm only falling further into hurt
Taking time to justify the cracks ,the stabs
Cuz it all feels so perfect , so right before the strike
And I can't seem to discern right from wrong. .... I fall deeper
Its a mystery
Nothing but a broken , tasteless dream .. Leaking its purpose that could have been
Longing for an answer
When the darkness provides but a
Shallow gasp of the phantom of past
It all sails away too fast
But I must turn back
Before rough currents
Pin me permanently
into the dark ......
Where I slip for momentary sips of the one I miss ..
But I pretend to enjoy the game
I feel alive when in this trance
Reshaped
Re sculpted in the fire of the real I want
But I'm only falling further into hurt
Taking time to justify the cracks ,the stabs
Cuz it all feels so perfect , so right before the strike
And I can't seem to discern right from wrong. .... I fall deeper
Its a mystery
Nothing but a broken , tasteless dream .. Leaking its purpose that could have been
Longing for an answer
When the darkness provides but a
Shallow gasp of the phantom of past
It all sails away too fast
But I must turn back
Before rough currents
Pin me permanently
into the dark ......
Where I slip for momentary sips of the one I miss ..
As agony departed in Silence
Again the spider's web has been spun
Silky threads of poison
Clung to my lungs
The last song ...
The last sigh
The last word ... All uttered
And the time to depart has come
gained a few pounds of pain that
Seem to stay
Despite the exercise of faith
Broken limbs
Mauled face
Must all seem perfect ..
To walk the road ahead
No tears this time
No sighs ..
No favoured good bye's
No last stare
No running wild in love again
No pain is felt
Just a .. Loud emptiness that feeds on dying flesh
No fear this time
Its clear this time
That tomorrow will be gloomy ... For a while
Hurricanes and earthquakes will join hands
In friendliness
And trees shall burn to their roots ...
Their ashes will stand tall
Like black oily stalks
No whisper
No stare
No sign will be found
For this spec of dust ... Shall be long , long gone .....
Silky threads of poison
Clung to my lungs
The last song ...
The last sigh
The last word ... All uttered
And the time to depart has come
gained a few pounds of pain that
Seem to stay
Despite the exercise of faith
Broken limbs
Mauled face
Must all seem perfect ..
To walk the road ahead
No tears this time
No sighs ..
No favoured good bye's
No last stare
No running wild in love again
No pain is felt
Just a .. Loud emptiness that feeds on dying flesh
No fear this time
Its clear this time
That tomorrow will be gloomy ... For a while
Hurricanes and earthquakes will join hands
In friendliness
And trees shall burn to their roots ...
Their ashes will stand tall
Like black oily stalks
No whisper
No stare
No sign will be found
For this spec of dust ... Shall be long , long gone .....
Saturday, 22 December 2012
Rivers ,Streams & Lakes
Thoughts that meander on lilly's lips
Set a sail on streams , rivers and lakes
Streams that sleep
Rivers that whisper
Lakes that taste What ever is given
Watching lovely thoughts sail to the horizon
Like a perfect dream
Or a careless lash
Wished upon by stars
Watching ... Streams that snake so far
Rivers with no end
Lakes inviting for a bath ...
Watching ...
Now streams .. Stream through my thoughts like a calm gentle light to the dark
And often lilly's lips shatter when whipped
And renewed in rivers ... That dance
Lakes that creep within those thirsty wooden folds
The heart , it polishes and restores
When lilly's stalk is tied with the olive branch, wreaths of Unspoken word and cupped by hands of time past
They shall be set a sail
Forever silenced .. By rivers , streams and lakes .....
Set a sail on streams , rivers and lakes
Streams that sleep
Rivers that whisper
Lakes that taste What ever is given
Watching lovely thoughts sail to the horizon
Like a perfect dream
Or a careless lash
Wished upon by stars
Watching ... Streams that snake so far
Rivers with no end
Lakes inviting for a bath ...
Watching ...
Now streams .. Stream through my thoughts like a calm gentle light to the dark
And often lilly's lips shatter when whipped
And renewed in rivers ... That dance
Lakes that creep within those thirsty wooden folds
The heart , it polishes and restores
When lilly's stalk is tied with the olive branch, wreaths of Unspoken word and cupped by hands of time past
They shall be set a sail
Forever silenced .. By rivers , streams and lakes .....
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Mental "Quickie"
After a long day
All I need is a glass of red wine and a
Mental " Quickie! "
The kind of conversation that propels me to
Write and summon the sleeping emotions of my opponent
I love that in the art of manipulating words
I massage my self firmly into the mainstream
Of exercising thoughts ....
And words that lead to unknown paths of humour and intrigue
And this kind of "convo" tickles my fancy
The "convos" that commence with much appeal and tease
Unleashing archaic vernacular or resurrecting the sweet roses of the shakespearean language
metaphors kissing similes
Snuggled in the bed of oxymorons in a
Candle lit room of hyperboles
And finally enveloped in sensual yet disguised glimpses of truth
All this tickles my fancy
the war of words ! ...
A war that's calm and sophisticated ...plotting without the opponent sensing
Oh how I adore these "wordly" surprises
Behind the door of suspense is the thrill of unsuspecting laughter
All this packed into 5 mins of talking
And It ends !
.... Sad isn't it
Minds engaged in foreplay
How beautiful it is -the climax and the shared kisses and laughters in the before and after ..
Of the mental "quickie" ! ...
#thanks to all those that untangle the stress that knots my inner being with a 5minute convo - filled with laughter , wit and stimulating words - those mental quickies ! Lol got to love um
All I need is a glass of red wine and a
Mental " Quickie! "
The kind of conversation that propels me to
Write and summon the sleeping emotions of my opponent
I love that in the art of manipulating words
I massage my self firmly into the mainstream
Of exercising thoughts ....
And words that lead to unknown paths of humour and intrigue
And this kind of "convo" tickles my fancy
The "convos" that commence with much appeal and tease
Unleashing archaic vernacular or resurrecting the sweet roses of the shakespearean language
metaphors kissing similes
Snuggled in the bed of oxymorons in a
Candle lit room of hyperboles
And finally enveloped in sensual yet disguised glimpses of truth
All this tickles my fancy
the war of words ! ...
A war that's calm and sophisticated ...plotting without the opponent sensing
Oh how I adore these "wordly" surprises
Behind the door of suspense is the thrill of unsuspecting laughter
All this packed into 5 mins of talking
And It ends !
.... Sad isn't it
Minds engaged in foreplay
How beautiful it is -the climax and the shared kisses and laughters in the before and after ..
Of the mental "quickie" ! ...
#thanks to all those that untangle the stress that knots my inner being with a 5minute convo - filled with laughter , wit and stimulating words - those mental quickies ! Lol got to love um
Thoughts of The Gardener ...
A man's mind is a garden !
He must strive to till .. Intelligently !
Sowing useful seeds
Bearing lush succulent fruits of profound thought
Water daily with wisdom, kindness , humility , understanding and forgiveness
Remove the caterpillars of meaningless banter
From the budding leaves of whims and impulse
Let your flowers bloom within borders
Rid your garden of stubborn branches that grow carefree and stifle the laws of self respect ! And self -reliance !
Be very mindful of weeds
weeds of impure thoughts
Longing to anchor themselves in ur soil
Soil of love... Its either KILL or REMOVE which ever ! Do so upon sight !
A deprived soil leads to dull fruits
And what's the use in sharing mealy pomes?
Be mindful of the fruit of spontaneity
These fruits are sometimes the largest
Glaring with innocence
Plump invitation to give in
These fruits of your garden ...
Are often ambivalent surprises .. Eat with caution !
And lastly .....live a little !
Surprise your soil every once in a while with the compost of laughter !
So that ur fruits share a difference
The difference ? : " Sweet laughter filled with the richness of wisdom "
He must strive to till .. Intelligently !
Sowing useful seeds
Bearing lush succulent fruits of profound thought
Water daily with wisdom, kindness , humility , understanding and forgiveness
Remove the caterpillars of meaningless banter
From the budding leaves of whims and impulse
Let your flowers bloom within borders
Rid your garden of stubborn branches that grow carefree and stifle the laws of self respect ! And self -reliance !
Be very mindful of weeds
weeds of impure thoughts
Longing to anchor themselves in ur soil
Soil of love... Its either KILL or REMOVE which ever ! Do so upon sight !
A deprived soil leads to dull fruits
And what's the use in sharing mealy pomes?
Be mindful of the fruit of spontaneity
These fruits are sometimes the largest
Glaring with innocence
Plump invitation to give in
These fruits of your garden ...
Are often ambivalent surprises .. Eat with caution !
And lastly .....live a little !
Surprise your soil every once in a while with the compost of laughter !
So that ur fruits share a difference
The difference ? : " Sweet laughter filled with the richness of wisdom "
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
Sick & Tired of The "L" Word
( Queen-sized bed Rumpled ...pillows soaked in tears , contorted body lays still on the floor , paper and pen inviting terrified hands )
My inner me rose
Only to watch the remains of physical
Paralyzed !
I cry ...
For solution eludes me
I cry
For death waits for me to give in
I cry
For I'm gashed by a toxic pain
In my loins
In my head
In my soul
I grab the quill and paper
But no ink in sight
And I cried again...
And the bowl is filled with my tears
I'm sick and tired of writing about u !
I dipped the quill in my tears
And wrote :
Trying my best to rid myself
To find release
But writing about u just makes u immortal in my world
And I'm sick and tired of it
Tired of the hurt
Tired of the stings
Tired of the cobra's bite ... These lethal injections of rejection in my aorta
Hoping that I'd write and forget
Hoping to find composure
Hoping that grief can be killed like mortal soldiers ... But they are persian sands
I slice through with my writing
And when the sand storm of memory arises
They march again
What kind of memory are u ?
Iv loved before
Hurt before
But never like this
I remember the days when I forgot hurt in 2mins ....
But its almost a month and this hurt fades and appears like a hulk ...
Crushing me
Slapping me
Whipping me
Dragging me through the mud of anger
Flings me onto the shores of the memories that iv been running from
I'm sick and tired of the "L" - word
Sick and tired - words seem to be owned by u and even the word hate feels like I'm writing about being in love with u ......still
I'm tired of the "L" - word"
I dip my pen into the tear-bowl that is continuously replenished as I wrote
And I continued
" I'm sick and tired
Sick of being stuck in this cycle
Cry - >temporary moments of feeling ok -> the beautiful feeling of the pain taking its exist ->hulk of pain returns to rape ->my sitting on the floor of my room , crying , writing to forget you .
When does it END !
Why can't I straighten this bend in my path to overcome
"L" - word , I Wish i could lend this pain.
Wish I could spend more time crying .
So that eyes can remain puffed for a long time ..
For this is the end of the cycle ..
And its beginning .set in motion ...I'm crying again
I'm sick of missing u
The "miss "- tastes like salt on a slice of sizzling metal darted at my soul with unpredictable throws
I'm sick of feeling like I'd still love in spite of it all
I hate it !
Who in their right bloody senses dines with their murderer ?
Am I addicted ? Obsessed with u ?
Pardon if these thoughts are all over the place
I'm a. Puzzle and I'm missing some pieces
I'm broken
I'm sick
I'm tired
In this unfamiliar state
Thought process ...is also a track that's twisted
And my train of thought
Gets shifted .... "
I pull back , drop the quill
I began throwing up images of u
Used the edge of my arm to wipe the acid
I'm still filled with u
I'm literally ripping
Clawing
Biting
Tearing
The imprint u left on my pupils !
The smell of u in my blood !
The photographs of your skin that's tattooed under my nails
Your voice that's now the heart of my eardrums
Ugh !!!!! ur breath that still remains the sweetest memory documented on my taste buds
I am sick of it ! I'm living a nightmare of sweet nothings !
I'm sick and tired of this !
What's the use of a tormented soul
Why didn't u leave with ur memories
Left me to burn in the incinerator of thoughts that will never be
Left me to shiver in the cold ...alone
I'm sick and tired of this !
I'm sick and tired of the " L" - word ...
And alas I feel the second stage kicking in
" The temporary moments of feeling ok "
My inner me rose
Only to watch the remains of physical
Paralyzed !
I cry ...
For solution eludes me
I cry
For death waits for me to give in
I cry
For I'm gashed by a toxic pain
In my loins
In my head
In my soul
I grab the quill and paper
But no ink in sight
And I cried again...
And the bowl is filled with my tears
I'm sick and tired of writing about u !
I dipped the quill in my tears
And wrote :
Trying my best to rid myself
To find release
But writing about u just makes u immortal in my world
And I'm sick and tired of it
Tired of the hurt
Tired of the stings
Tired of the cobra's bite ... These lethal injections of rejection in my aorta
Hoping that I'd write and forget
Hoping to find composure
Hoping that grief can be killed like mortal soldiers ... But they are persian sands
I slice through with my writing
And when the sand storm of memory arises
They march again
What kind of memory are u ?
Iv loved before
Hurt before
But never like this
I remember the days when I forgot hurt in 2mins ....
But its almost a month and this hurt fades and appears like a hulk ...
Crushing me
Slapping me
Whipping me
Dragging me through the mud of anger
Flings me onto the shores of the memories that iv been running from
I'm sick and tired of the "L" - word
Sick and tired - words seem to be owned by u and even the word hate feels like I'm writing about being in love with u ......still
I'm tired of the "L" - word"
I dip my pen into the tear-bowl that is continuously replenished as I wrote
And I continued
" I'm sick and tired
Sick of being stuck in this cycle
Cry - >temporary moments of feeling ok -> the beautiful feeling of the pain taking its exist ->hulk of pain returns to rape ->my sitting on the floor of my room , crying , writing to forget you .
When does it END !
Why can't I straighten this bend in my path to overcome
"L" - word , I Wish i could lend this pain.
Wish I could spend more time crying .
So that eyes can remain puffed for a long time ..
For this is the end of the cycle ..
And its beginning .set in motion ...I'm crying again
I'm sick of missing u
The "miss "- tastes like salt on a slice of sizzling metal darted at my soul with unpredictable throws
I'm sick of feeling like I'd still love in spite of it all
I hate it !
Who in their right bloody senses dines with their murderer ?
Am I addicted ? Obsessed with u ?
Pardon if these thoughts are all over the place
I'm a. Puzzle and I'm missing some pieces
I'm broken
I'm sick
I'm tired
In this unfamiliar state
Thought process ...is also a track that's twisted
And my train of thought
Gets shifted .... "
I pull back , drop the quill
I began throwing up images of u
Used the edge of my arm to wipe the acid
I'm still filled with u
I'm literally ripping
Clawing
Biting
Tearing
The imprint u left on my pupils !
The smell of u in my blood !
The photographs of your skin that's tattooed under my nails
Your voice that's now the heart of my eardrums
Ugh !!!!! ur breath that still remains the sweetest memory documented on my taste buds
I am sick of it ! I'm living a nightmare of sweet nothings !
I'm sick and tired of this !
What's the use of a tormented soul
Why didn't u leave with ur memories
Left me to burn in the incinerator of thoughts that will never be
Left me to shiver in the cold ...alone
I'm sick and tired of this !
I'm sick and tired of the " L" - word ...
And alas I feel the second stage kicking in
" The temporary moments of feeling ok "
Whisper of The Desert Flower
I am ..
The lioness trodding through the desert
Observing her world
Empty
Hills of deceit
Sands of struggle
And I know not fear
For I am
A desert flower ... Born to conquer
Moulding screams and nightmares into
Success
Fashioned the needles of adversity
Pierce through cotton clouds of hope
And my spirit still roars with much muster
With much valour
With much happiness
For I am ....a desert flower
Delicate .....pure .....strong ....gorgeous
And my scars from the battlefield
Adds the sparkle in my strength
Representing ....life !
Permanent hope
I shall overcome
There is no quarrel in my smile but the fortune I see in appeasing the scorched lips of adversity ...
The lioness trodding through the desert
Observing her world
Empty
Hills of deceit
Sands of struggle
And I know not fear
For I am
A desert flower ... Born to conquer
Moulding screams and nightmares into
Success
Fashioned the needles of adversity
Pierce through cotton clouds of hope
And my spirit still roars with much muster
With much valour
With much happiness
For I am ....a desert flower
Delicate .....pure .....strong ....gorgeous
And my scars from the battlefield
Adds the sparkle in my strength
Representing ....life !
Permanent hope
I shall overcome
There is no quarrel in my smile but the fortune I see in appeasing the scorched lips of adversity ...
I miss you ...
I miss you
I care not of time
When thoughts of u are flashing in my heart
Like harbour lights
Like the light house
Still waiting for ships sailed to return home
I miss u
Thoughts like cream in a bottle
Waiting to be expelled on and in u !
I miss cultivating the garden of love
The oranges of sunshine
The vineyards of grapes
Yes .. I miss that love
That fresh
Smiling
Inhaling of sweet life -love
It hurts and I just
I miss u ...even more
I wish not to write this anymore
#tears from my eyes keep on falling
But uv placed me permanently in yesterday ....
Still mending in lonely winds
I care not of time
When thoughts of u are flashing in my heart
Like harbour lights
Like the light house
Still waiting for ships sailed to return home
I miss u
Thoughts like cream in a bottle
Waiting to be expelled on and in u !
I miss cultivating the garden of love
The oranges of sunshine
The vineyards of grapes
Yes .. I miss that love
That fresh
Smiling
Inhaling of sweet life -love
It hurts and I just
I miss u ...even more
I wish not to write this anymore
#tears from my eyes keep on falling
But uv placed me permanently in yesterday ....
Still mending in lonely winds
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
My Poetry is me !
Now mind u !
I have no problem with advice!
Poetry .. Is everything to me .
I'm honest with her
I don't intend to change that ..NOT. EVER !!!
Why try to influence the flow of my pen ?
Don't !
Its the one thing I can't stand !
Let me find my way to polished. Poetic Artistry on my own
I believe there is beauty in rough edges
Or a few confused lines
Cuz that's me .....
I dare to explore and go beyond me
And not with the compass of ur influence
My poetry is me !
Please! I beg of u ! let ur criticisms be positive and constructive
I care not for ur subjective opinions !
Those that say
-" oh ur writing is too racy "
- its lacking of rhythm
Listen " septics- mind u not skeptics - septics "
My poetry is me
When I'm excited I get racy
When I'm impatient I skip a few details
Cuz the pain is just too hard to etch in the intended piece
When I'm scared ... Words flow into tomorrow and I stop the journey before suspense hits
But that's me ..... Honest and u dare to change that ?
My poetry only seeks to be her own individual !
True to her growth and identity to be real
She is me !
The only rhythm I want u to see !
That I want u to feel - my being honest !
Being me without trying to please you and for that I won't say sorry !
My pieces . Sometimes skids across the underlying emotions ur longing to hear ?
Suppose its too hard to write and that's what I want u to see
No I don't write to impress
My words won't be timely clad to exemplify or prove that my vocab" is deep !
By all means be constructive !
But don't tell me how to say it !
I' share the way I ...yes I experienced it !
My love for poetry forces me to say it as it is-naturally
And yes sometimes I hate editing my work !
Feels cosmetic
Feels like putting chemicals in my hair - the type of beauty u seem to habitually relate to
My poetry is like my hair .... Sometimes I love when she is a tangled web of silky curls... unkempt ... And I still see the beauty in her confusion
I like my poetry without make up
I like my poetry ... Dancing to the orchestra of her emotions .. Mixed ...
I don't write to make a hit
Or to gain fans
I dare to defy the odds and write the way that is forbidden !
Attacking the topic ... With force ! And unbriddled control. !
I write to find me ... .
I write when the spirit of situation commands
,end when it says to end
even when it doesn't end perfectly ....
. Cuz u c I'm not perfect
So pardon me if sometimes I'm not flowery enough for u
Pardon me if my lines seem to dull for u
Pardon me for not being u ......
P.s : "CYNICS !"
I have no problem with advice!
Poetry .. Is everything to me .
I'm honest with her
I don't intend to change that ..NOT. EVER !!!
Why try to influence the flow of my pen ?
Don't !
Its the one thing I can't stand !
Let me find my way to polished. Poetic Artistry on my own
I believe there is beauty in rough edges
Or a few confused lines
Cuz that's me .....
I dare to explore and go beyond me
And not with the compass of ur influence
My poetry is me !
Please! I beg of u ! let ur criticisms be positive and constructive
I care not for ur subjective opinions !
Those that say
-" oh ur writing is too racy "
- its lacking of rhythm
Listen " septics- mind u not skeptics - septics "
My poetry is me
When I'm excited I get racy
When I'm impatient I skip a few details
Cuz the pain is just too hard to etch in the intended piece
When I'm scared ... Words flow into tomorrow and I stop the journey before suspense hits
But that's me ..... Honest and u dare to change that ?
My poetry only seeks to be her own individual !
True to her growth and identity to be real
She is me !
The only rhythm I want u to see !
That I want u to feel - my being honest !
Being me without trying to please you and for that I won't say sorry !
My pieces . Sometimes skids across the underlying emotions ur longing to hear ?
Suppose its too hard to write and that's what I want u to see
No I don't write to impress
My words won't be timely clad to exemplify or prove that my vocab" is deep !
By all means be constructive !
But don't tell me how to say it !
I' share the way I ...yes I experienced it !
My love for poetry forces me to say it as it is-naturally
And yes sometimes I hate editing my work !
Feels cosmetic
Feels like putting chemicals in my hair - the type of beauty u seem to habitually relate to
My poetry is like my hair .... Sometimes I love when she is a tangled web of silky curls... unkempt ... And I still see the beauty in her confusion
I like my poetry without make up
I like my poetry ... Dancing to the orchestra of her emotions .. Mixed ...
I don't write to make a hit
Or to gain fans
I dare to defy the odds and write the way that is forbidden !
Attacking the topic ... With force ! And unbriddled control. !
I write to find me ... .
I write when the spirit of situation commands
,end when it says to end
even when it doesn't end perfectly ....
. Cuz u c I'm not perfect
So pardon me if sometimes I'm not flowery enough for u
Pardon me if my lines seem to dull for u
Pardon me for not being u ......
P.s : "CYNICS !"
The Sparrow
Autumn says her last good bye to
Leaves .. And tress in readiness for winter
The sparrows , crows and fellow mates
Prepare to fly south
Leaving the lush terrain of dwindling life
For greener pastures
But I was tired of flying
Darting when instructed
Echoing winds under our wings- no ! I'm not a follower
I wanted to fly alone
I observed the dying patch of land before me
I cried ...
Bowed my head
I sympathized with her bellows
Her whale - like whistles
Appealing to the heavens
The soldiers of the land of winter
I can see as they
March ahead
Their trumpets howling their arrival
It is time I leave the terrain
The stretch of life that froze
I swallowed the grains of unhappiness
And took off to the ever-green lands
Wading through the winds
Watching the lakes capping with ice as I went
And the leaves being buried with snow
And lonely branches crying -being stripped of their children
Sacrificing ...to see tomorrow ...long awaited breeze of young spring... Lingers in time ... Shackled to its distance
The cold winter !
Blankets the space
The icicled tears ..mountains of salt
Stood sleeping on my wrinkles of hardship
But wings froze !
And i stumbled .. Fluttering .. Chirping in mid air
My goodness !
For south I headed too late !
Falling through the layers of time
Layers of unfriendly space
Layers of bitter memories
Layers of. Autumn's ghosts returning to the fading sun ....
And I fall onto unfamiliar land
In a barn
Of pigs ,cows , horses .. And one sleeping cat
As I lay on my back
Wings frozen
Beak ..tightly glued ...by the white patterned dew
And a cow passes
Lifts her tail over me
And releases ..... Her undigested dinner
I'm drowning in manure
Struggling to surFace
How unfair life can be
But to my surprise the warm manure
Thawed my beak and cooled the stinging in my wings .... And I chirped happily !
Relaxing in my spa ..of manure !
Ladled so thickly over me
But I was warm and now ready to go !
But the excrement on my stomach rested like a heavy stone
And I bawled for help
The innocent fur ball came to my rescue excavated me from my distress
.......But only to be his dinner
Morals of the story:
-procrastination is the thief of time
- and all those who bring distress to u aren't necessarily ur enemies, those who rescue u from it aren't necessarily your friends !
Leaves .. And tress in readiness for winter
The sparrows , crows and fellow mates
Prepare to fly south
Leaving the lush terrain of dwindling life
For greener pastures
But I was tired of flying
Darting when instructed
Echoing winds under our wings- no ! I'm not a follower
I wanted to fly alone
I observed the dying patch of land before me
I cried ...
Bowed my head
I sympathized with her bellows
Her whale - like whistles
Appealing to the heavens
The soldiers of the land of winter
I can see as they
March ahead
Their trumpets howling their arrival
It is time I leave the terrain
The stretch of life that froze
I swallowed the grains of unhappiness
And took off to the ever-green lands
Wading through the winds
Watching the lakes capping with ice as I went
And the leaves being buried with snow
And lonely branches crying -being stripped of their children
Sacrificing ...to see tomorrow ...long awaited breeze of young spring... Lingers in time ... Shackled to its distance
The cold winter !
Blankets the space
The icicled tears ..mountains of salt
Stood sleeping on my wrinkles of hardship
But wings froze !
And i stumbled .. Fluttering .. Chirping in mid air
My goodness !
For south I headed too late !
Falling through the layers of time
Layers of unfriendly space
Layers of bitter memories
Layers of. Autumn's ghosts returning to the fading sun ....
And I fall onto unfamiliar land
In a barn
Of pigs ,cows , horses .. And one sleeping cat
As I lay on my back
Wings frozen
Beak ..tightly glued ...by the white patterned dew
And a cow passes
Lifts her tail over me
And releases ..... Her undigested dinner
I'm drowning in manure
Struggling to surFace
How unfair life can be
But to my surprise the warm manure
Thawed my beak and cooled the stinging in my wings .... And I chirped happily !
Relaxing in my spa ..of manure !
Ladled so thickly over me
But I was warm and now ready to go !
But the excrement on my stomach rested like a heavy stone
And I bawled for help
The innocent fur ball came to my rescue excavated me from my distress
.......But only to be his dinner
Morals of the story:
-procrastination is the thief of time
- and all those who bring distress to u aren't necessarily ur enemies, those who rescue u from it aren't necessarily your friends !
Long Time Lover
Long time lover
My mind still runs on u
Lying here
Staring into the space beside Me
Space filled with ur spirit
I Feel u staring at me
Long time lover
Why did u leave?
Wasn't my love pure and flourishing enough
Wasn't my touch healing in her scared attempts to help ?
Long time lover
Why do u stare?
Eyes that tell me everything
But the words disappear before I read
After the passions in our hurricanes
After the smooth and tender love that flows in the stream ... Snaking its way through reality
long time lover
I breathe u ..... Still
Departure came but ......I still feel u
I still hear ur cries to be understood
Your plights to be loved
And paid attention to
The debris of our laughs and kisses
And feelings that ran too deep for the issuing flower of spirits
They still linger , my long time lover
After the death of our children
After the death of passion and belonging
After the cremation of supernatural thoughts of us being together
I still feel u long time lover......
I still feel u ....in the valley of death
I still feel ......after pores were ashed with hurt
There's still apart of "us" that flows in me
Maybe they created vessels ....on my blood of memory they feed
Long time lover
Someday I hope to see u
Someday I hope that you'd tell me the truth
Tell me all that eyes summoned me to read
Long time lover ....
Your spirit still lingers ...
Am I to only be with u in spirit
From a distance
To feel ur embrace from the moonlight as it comes and goes
To find ur love notes in the wind as I walk alone
Long time lover
Guess I'll keep staring
Watch u fade
Or watch your spirit sparkle beside me
Even though ur presence isn't here
My love-.the remains ....belong to ur spirit
That still lingers .....and stares
# to my long time lover , watching u drift slowly in the wind , but I still feel u ...u have become "my wind "
My mind still runs on u
Lying here
Staring into the space beside Me
Space filled with ur spirit
I Feel u staring at me
Long time lover
Why did u leave?
Wasn't my love pure and flourishing enough
Wasn't my touch healing in her scared attempts to help ?
Long time lover
Why do u stare?
Eyes that tell me everything
But the words disappear before I read
After the passions in our hurricanes
After the smooth and tender love that flows in the stream ... Snaking its way through reality
long time lover
I breathe u ..... Still
Departure came but ......I still feel u
I still hear ur cries to be understood
Your plights to be loved
And paid attention to
The debris of our laughs and kisses
And feelings that ran too deep for the issuing flower of spirits
They still linger , my long time lover
After the death of our children
After the death of passion and belonging
After the cremation of supernatural thoughts of us being together
I still feel u long time lover......
I still feel u ....in the valley of death
I still feel ......after pores were ashed with hurt
There's still apart of "us" that flows in me
Maybe they created vessels ....on my blood of memory they feed
Long time lover
Someday I hope to see u
Someday I hope that you'd tell me the truth
Tell me all that eyes summoned me to read
Long time lover ....
Your spirit still lingers ...
Am I to only be with u in spirit
From a distance
To feel ur embrace from the moonlight as it comes and goes
To find ur love notes in the wind as I walk alone
Long time lover
Guess I'll keep staring
Watch u fade
Or watch your spirit sparkle beside me
Even though ur presence isn't here
My love-.the remains ....belong to ur spirit
That still lingers .....and stares
# to my long time lover , watching u drift slowly in the wind , but I still feel u ...u have become "my wind "
Monday, 17 December 2012
Evolve !
What does it mean to evolve .....
Does it mean ......
The growth of infant to child ?
Or is it .....
The shifting of the tectonic plates in our minds ....?
Is evolving .... More than just the physical ?
Is evolution ... Just the revelation of part of the truth ?
Which ever it is .... I want to explore it
Can I evolve ... In my tears ?
Transform from small drops to thunder bolts .... Then pale rainbows ?
Can I evolve in my tears .... Dance with the thoughts of. You in each tear ...
Make love to u in each tear . ...
Watch u slip away from my tear .. Ducts ..
Can the salt evolve to a shimmering strength ? A strength of a womanhood ? A maiden strength ... That's pure and full of everything iv never given to u ....
Can I evolve in my hate ?
Riding in this canoe of wondering
Running on four legs against the rough currents that sigh .... And whisper ...
Rough currents gliding and converging and diverging
Rough currents of hate that caress the thighs the canoe of wonderment ..
Can I evolve from this hate ...
And heal in a paradise ... Of everything imagined and unrealistic so that wounds can heal in a perfect sanctuary ... Where plants and herbivores live in harmony ...
Where my envisioned mankind knows , walks and talks of love ....
Can I evolve .... Completely
So far this evolution ... Seeks to polish one side of the coin
So what about the physical ?
Instead of beginning ... With can I .... How about
I'd like to -
I'd like to evolve the stale taste still left in the unbrushed teeth of my fingers
The last . They've eaten was u .. And I haven't cleaned them since ... Scared to see sparkling hands ... And no evidence of u ...
I'd like to evolve my skin from the education u gave it ...
U taught my skin the science of ur world ... And the verses of ur touch ...
The music of ur tongue ...
I want my skin to evolve ....
From the psychology of ur skin's mysteries I alone discovered
Evole my skin from the numbers ...
The infinite I counted in ur stares ..
And heavy breaThing riddled in soft caresses ... And I loved when most of them ... Simply hushed me into a sleep of" u "
I want to evolve from the art we painted together in many positions ....
Loving , playful .... Positions ....
Many nights
We explored the paints of our feelings on our canvas ...
Smearing the charcoal of truth .. That sometimes scarred us
We explored ... Pastels ... Varying shades and colours that showed sometimes clear and too vague of an image of the power in us ....
A power ... We misconstrued and sometimes framed with lust ...
Evolve my skin from my favourite subject of u - english
Oh english .
The nights ... I started sentences and u supplied the predicate and our kiss would provide the punctuation ,
The comma kind of kiss - where we paused and stared , over whelmed with the spirit that filled us and the magnetic field that pulled us ... Kissing ....
Sometimes ... We intentionally did these comma kisses ... Just to be sure that's its real ....
The exclamation - oh goodness these were my favourite ! ....
Passionate !
Loud !
Violent !
Psychotic kisses
that knew no end
That threw it self off the high clif of tomorrow or fears ...
Exclamatory kisses that .... Said everything ..... With the stroke of tongues .... Struggling to understand the passion and imprint the depth on everypart of us and still trying to maintain focus ....
Can I still evolve from this ?
Can I evolve from the language of our unioned spirits ? ....
U ride almost every letter that struts from the me I gave to u .....
I want to evolve ..... In mind , body and soul , .....
Evolve to the unbewilderment of everything about u
Evolve to not remembering u
Or hearing the blind whispers that slither to tempt me each day
Evolve to .. Me
Evolve ...... Living and growing stronger ....
and in all that I thought I gave to u
I now blossom into the better me that u'll never have .... I realised that the best of me !
Yes the best of me was hidden , preserved , she hid herself
And as I take a look upon my dead skin .
It is with much pride ... That I walk to my throne .. Take my crown ..
Yes ...I shall evolve .....
I will be forever be the - beautiful evolution u lost.....
# I wanted to evolve with u ..... #goddess_athena
Does it mean ......
The growth of infant to child ?
Or is it .....
The shifting of the tectonic plates in our minds ....?
Is evolving .... More than just the physical ?
Is evolution ... Just the revelation of part of the truth ?
Which ever it is .... I want to explore it
Can I evolve ... In my tears ?
Transform from small drops to thunder bolts .... Then pale rainbows ?
Can I evolve in my tears .... Dance with the thoughts of. You in each tear ...
Make love to u in each tear . ...
Watch u slip away from my tear .. Ducts ..
Can the salt evolve to a shimmering strength ? A strength of a womanhood ? A maiden strength ... That's pure and full of everything iv never given to u ....
Can I evolve in my hate ?
Riding in this canoe of wondering
Running on four legs against the rough currents that sigh .... And whisper ...
Rough currents gliding and converging and diverging
Rough currents of hate that caress the thighs the canoe of wonderment ..
Can I evolve from this hate ...
And heal in a paradise ... Of everything imagined and unrealistic so that wounds can heal in a perfect sanctuary ... Where plants and herbivores live in harmony ...
Where my envisioned mankind knows , walks and talks of love ....
Can I evolve .... Completely
So far this evolution ... Seeks to polish one side of the coin
So what about the physical ?
Instead of beginning ... With can I .... How about
I'd like to -
I'd like to evolve the stale taste still left in the unbrushed teeth of my fingers
The last . They've eaten was u .. And I haven't cleaned them since ... Scared to see sparkling hands ... And no evidence of u ...
I'd like to evolve my skin from the education u gave it ...
U taught my skin the science of ur world ... And the verses of ur touch ...
The music of ur tongue ...
I want my skin to evolve ....
From the psychology of ur skin's mysteries I alone discovered
Evole my skin from the numbers ...
The infinite I counted in ur stares ..
And heavy breaThing riddled in soft caresses ... And I loved when most of them ... Simply hushed me into a sleep of" u "
I want to evolve from the art we painted together in many positions ....
Loving , playful .... Positions ....
Many nights
We explored the paints of our feelings on our canvas ...
Smearing the charcoal of truth .. That sometimes scarred us
We explored ... Pastels ... Varying shades and colours that showed sometimes clear and too vague of an image of the power in us ....
A power ... We misconstrued and sometimes framed with lust ...
Evolve my skin from my favourite subject of u - english
Oh english .
The nights ... I started sentences and u supplied the predicate and our kiss would provide the punctuation ,
The comma kind of kiss - where we paused and stared , over whelmed with the spirit that filled us and the magnetic field that pulled us ... Kissing ....
Sometimes ... We intentionally did these comma kisses ... Just to be sure that's its real ....
The exclamation - oh goodness these were my favourite ! ....
Passionate !
Loud !
Violent !
Psychotic kisses
that knew no end
That threw it self off the high clif of tomorrow or fears ...
Exclamatory kisses that .... Said everything ..... With the stroke of tongues .... Struggling to understand the passion and imprint the depth on everypart of us and still trying to maintain focus ....
Can I still evolve from this ?
Can I evolve from the language of our unioned spirits ? ....
U ride almost every letter that struts from the me I gave to u .....
I want to evolve ..... In mind , body and soul , .....
Evolve to the unbewilderment of everything about u
Evolve to not remembering u
Or hearing the blind whispers that slither to tempt me each day
Evolve to .. Me
Evolve ...... Living and growing stronger ....
and in all that I thought I gave to u
I now blossom into the better me that u'll never have .... I realised that the best of me !
Yes the best of me was hidden , preserved , she hid herself
And as I take a look upon my dead skin .
It is with much pride ... That I walk to my throne .. Take my crown ..
Yes ...I shall evolve .....
I will be forever be the - beautiful evolution u lost.....
# I wanted to evolve with u ..... #goddess_athena
The Oath!
12 days after our break up
I finally decided that I'll take my first step onto the road of moving on .....
After 12days of trying to change ur mind ....
Saying sorry for all the times I didn't upset u and thought I did
Crying for when I called ur phone , the first line I was greeted with - " ARE U SERIOUSLY CALLING ME ?"
12 days of remembering the night before the " break -up" we had the most spiritually binding " make every part of me cum " kind of sex
12 days of remembering how much ur lips owned the skin on my neck ...
12 days of remembering what u said : " u r not what I want "
After these 12 days ... I made an oath
I will never call ur phone and hang up just cuz my heart was on its last breath
Even though those few seconds of hearing u say " hello ? , hello ? , helllllloooo ? ..... Ok bye ! "
Yes that was magic , enough food to appease my almost inconsolable heart for a day longer ......
I made an oath ...
Not to check ur facebook page
Hoping that u'll leave me little clues that u want me back and yes .... Every time I checked ur page I ignored the pic of ur girlfriend splashed across ur time line
I made an oath to avoid creating fake twitter accounts , just to see u unleash ur real thoughts ... To cry when u cry , to be there when u feel misunderstood ... Cuz that's unconditional love .... A love that was spat on by rejection .... For 12 days !
I made an oath not to sign into Gtalk anymore cuz knowing that u didn't block me gave me an insecure unrealistic orgasmic hope
Knowing that ... Ur online and I'm online ... And knowing that u know I'm online ... The feeling of us dwelling in any kind of space ... Made me feel ur spirit through those fibre optic cables ....
Every time .. My fingers approached the keys to regurgitated everything that could possibly bring u back to me ... The fear of rejection for the 13th time shocked my thoughts .. Froze them before they drooled out of my finger tips
I made an oath
Not to listen to the music u sent me
Cuz we made love to each song
Exchanged the virgin of our spirits with each word sung ... And I still feel those exchanged parts making love to me .. To my soul
I made an oath
Not to pay attention to my skin
For the first time u gave my complexion perfection ..... With every kiss ... Or graze of the endearment that aligned ur sensitive nose
I made an oath
Not to spend too much time paying attention to my lips
Draping the lip gloss perfectly to highlight the smooth texture of each line
Now when I look at my lips ... I see urs
The many nights u made love to me just ... Kissing my lips as we lay ...naked ..legs inter locked ... Fingers glued in romantic hugs
The first time I cried when u evoked a nervousness from caressing each line on my lips with the electrifying taste buds of ur tongue
Every line on my lips now mirror u
Remembers u
Buried the taste of u
And sometimes I bite them
Hoping that the ghost of u would be resurrected
Instead
It hurts ........
And I just miss u more
So with these oaths I sealed myself
Masked my face with a brittle shell of strength and I made my first baby steps on this heated . Char coaled paved road
Day one of keeping the oath - here goes !
Woke up @ 6 am
got to work
After the first five hours of the day slipped by
I figured
Hmmm ya know , maybe I'm stronger than I thought
But its later I'd discover what was locked away ... Inside
As night sauntered in
It was time for the real test
Me and the 4 walls
Alas .....
I'm home in bed
And the truth became clear
That the real box ....
Was in my head .....
I was stuck in a room
In my mind
The more I tried to forget u
The faster the roller coaster spun
Caged in this box
The room spins and twirls
On the walls are flashing images of u .. Images of us
Sweet memories
Memories I tasted ... And now couldn't touch
The room stops
My vision now channeled in a tunnel that reflects a light beaming everything we were , did and could have been
So in desperation
I crawled
Crawled towards my laptop
So confused
Signed into facebook and signed out
Signed into a fake twitter aCcount. , almost searched for ur name and I signed out
Signed into Gtalk .... Oh crap !
He's online
I'm Still stuck in tunnel vision mode
So I .....
Messaged him
" Hey hope ur ok , hope u had a gud day ... B gud "
He replied " straight face icon"
That's all I needed
A reply
Any reply
To freeze the pain
To halt the massacre to my mind
Guess love does anything
Challenges anything
Ignores the logic of everything
Endures anything
Until love .... Itself stops breathing
The Break-Up
OCTOBER 28TH 2012
U RAPED ME
U KILLED ME
HOW COULD U
HOW COULD U CHEW ME LIKE THE GUM IN UR MOUTH USED MY JUICES HAD UR FILL AND SPIT ME OUT
HOW DARE U , KIDNAP the invaluable PRISTINE ALLURE OF MY FEELINGS , TRAFFIC THEM IN slave like CONTAINERS of lust AND AUCTION THEM OFF TO Ur MOST TEMPORARY DESIRES
HOW COULD U
I TASTED THE DESPAIR OF UR DAYS , AND RENEWED UR VEINS WITH THE COMFORT OF MY SINCERITY AND DEVOTION TO U
WITH GRACE I CAREFULLY MASSAGED THE 108 PORES ON EACH SQUARE INCh OF UR NECK I TOOK THE TIME TO COUNT AS I WATCHED U SLEEP
HOW COULD U
RIP THE BUTTERFLIES FROM MY THROAT AND BURN THEM ONE BY ONE
I LOVED U
I ADORED U LIKE THE EARTH SANG HYMNS TO GOD AS HIS LOVE TWINKLED OFF EVERY TANGENT OF THE SUN’S RAYS
U WERE MY MORNING
U WERE MY FAVOURITE MEMORY
It kills me to put u in the past tense
EVERY MEMORY OF U I STRETCHED , PLAYED IN SLOW MOTION , AND IF ANY RECORD GOT SCRATCHED I USED THE PURIFYING LIQUID OF OUR CONNECTION AND I CLEANSED IT
BUT THIS I REALIZED TOO LATE DIDN'T MATTER TO U
U WERE THE SUNLIGHT , OXYGEN AND AIR TO MY PHOTOSYNTHESIS
MY LUNGS WITHERED WITH EVER SECOND THAT U Weren't THERE.
U TOLD ME
THE WORD "US " HAS NO FUTURE
I WISH I WERE STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL U
IN FIVE SECONDS –
I WAS RAPED ,ROBBED , MURDERED
U STRETCHED THE DAGGER OF THOSE SHARP WORDS AND RIPPED THE WALLS OF THE INNER TISSUES OF MY HAVEN
A SANCTUARY OF LOVE
U ABORTED THE CHILD OF my FEELINGS
IN ME – my insides now septic
U PLACED THIS EXPLOSIVE IN MY WOMB
THE PLACE ONLY WHERE I NURTURED EVERYTHING ABOUT U
– LIKE THE NERVOUSNESS OF OUR FIRST KISS
-THE CONNECTION GOD BLESSED US WITH
- THE COMMONALITIES OF OUR UNDERSTANDING
- UR PICTURES – i worshiped , said prayers of faithfulness , sang songs in my amazement of u .
These exploded leaving pieces of bodies all over the battle field
Of ... whatever this was to u
I felt like a soldier taken to war , in the midst of 1001 korean warriors with spears at my throat , as u watched and turned ur back ...
do u know how lonely u made me feel ?
how ur desertion clogged my arteries
U threw acid of deception in my eyes how could u
I placed u on the thrown of my pupils and u stabbed me!
U poured gramaxone on the purity of feelings that grew like buttress roots
created a rainforest the amazon could not compare to this ,
speices of trees grew so tall from this love , trees so tall so vast the world for the next century could not find enough scientists even if they made everyone on the earth scientist they would take 5millleniua to understand every root of my love for u
How could u
U spoke these words
Like a mature woman i figure this is the type of hoggwash i just have to accept and i swallowed
This poison
puked blood
Blood of our memories
I lay on the on the dessert u ripped the zest of life from under my feet and i fell
Into the fetal position
Tightly knit into a cocoon of screams , screams of the hungry children in Africa pounding in my ear drum
Screams of a pregnant mom stuck in the climax of labour – her’s sons head is unable to pass tru and she screams – these screams trapped in my womb – dancing in my womb
Screams of 13 year old girls jus bought by some affluent manic about to snatch her innocence with his over grown syringe – and she screams in fear with these screams she prays they pave a road so clear for her escape– these screams now trapped in me –
Screams of mothers who have to watch ther only son being sold and daughter brutally raped and killed and then her husband watches her – his last stare on this earth before his head gets cut off – and she screams – her world shattered this world of her’s captured in a bubble stuck in my gullet
Im so shaken my breathe stutters ,
i speak and true words to express this pain u cannot hear ,
they run out of my mouth and get frozen in mid air
This natural disaster goes down in history , beats the history of those that have hurt me
In this hurricane of memories Im tumbling back and forth in slow motion as my spirit is ripped and shot back in to my mouth then ripped and shot in to my heart ,
ripped and shot back into the hollowness of a soul that God himself doesn't recognize anymore –
How is it possible for u to trap history in me
The horrors of world war one , two and three, the genocides , the evils of the Jagdeo regime , the cries of the bones of the unjust buried beneath africa’s soil of blood – soil of horror ,
The slaves of the 18th century. Look upon my anguish, the witchcraft of my pain , immediately blinds them , confuses them
they run happily into the arms of the modern day slave masters –
My horror gives rise to new found definitions for pain – even encyclopedias protest in the court of law , my pain requires a lifetime to comprehend .....so they too turn their backs on me
How could u
U were my everything
If this pain were a virus – she would be the mother of aids the mother of cancer the mother of hate
If this pain were a woman the devil would not be worthy to grace her presence
This pain so strong so indestructible it can replace the ozone layer
This pain is a freak of nature
My memories now like a puzzle all i remember is the first time i saw u and ...... this end .....but ..somehow I'm still alive
And for showing me the resilience of my heart .....
I thank u
U RAPED ME
U KILLED ME
HOW COULD U
HOW COULD U CHEW ME LIKE THE GUM IN UR MOUTH USED MY JUICES HAD UR FILL AND SPIT ME OUT
HOW DARE U , KIDNAP the invaluable PRISTINE ALLURE OF MY FEELINGS , TRAFFIC THEM IN slave like CONTAINERS of lust AND AUCTION THEM OFF TO Ur MOST TEMPORARY DESIRES
HOW COULD U
I TASTED THE DESPAIR OF UR DAYS , AND RENEWED UR VEINS WITH THE COMFORT OF MY SINCERITY AND DEVOTION TO U
WITH GRACE I CAREFULLY MASSAGED THE 108 PORES ON EACH SQUARE INCh OF UR NECK I TOOK THE TIME TO COUNT AS I WATCHED U SLEEP
HOW COULD U
RIP THE BUTTERFLIES FROM MY THROAT AND BURN THEM ONE BY ONE
I LOVED U
I ADORED U LIKE THE EARTH SANG HYMNS TO GOD AS HIS LOVE TWINKLED OFF EVERY TANGENT OF THE SUN’S RAYS
U WERE MY MORNING
U WERE MY FAVOURITE MEMORY
It kills me to put u in the past tense
EVERY MEMORY OF U I STRETCHED , PLAYED IN SLOW MOTION , AND IF ANY RECORD GOT SCRATCHED I USED THE PURIFYING LIQUID OF OUR CONNECTION AND I CLEANSED IT
BUT THIS I REALIZED TOO LATE DIDN'T MATTER TO U
U WERE THE SUNLIGHT , OXYGEN AND AIR TO MY PHOTOSYNTHESIS
MY LUNGS WITHERED WITH EVER SECOND THAT U Weren't THERE.
U TOLD ME
THE WORD "US " HAS NO FUTURE
I WISH I WERE STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL U
IN FIVE SECONDS –
I WAS RAPED ,ROBBED , MURDERED
U STRETCHED THE DAGGER OF THOSE SHARP WORDS AND RIPPED THE WALLS OF THE INNER TISSUES OF MY HAVEN
A SANCTUARY OF LOVE
U ABORTED THE CHILD OF my FEELINGS
IN ME – my insides now septic
U PLACED THIS EXPLOSIVE IN MY WOMB
THE PLACE ONLY WHERE I NURTURED EVERYTHING ABOUT U
– LIKE THE NERVOUSNESS OF OUR FIRST KISS
-THE CONNECTION GOD BLESSED US WITH
- THE COMMONALITIES OF OUR UNDERSTANDING
- UR PICTURES – i worshiped , said prayers of faithfulness , sang songs in my amazement of u .
These exploded leaving pieces of bodies all over the battle field
Of ... whatever this was to u
I felt like a soldier taken to war , in the midst of 1001 korean warriors with spears at my throat , as u watched and turned ur back ...
do u know how lonely u made me feel ?
how ur desertion clogged my arteries
U threw acid of deception in my eyes how could u
I placed u on the thrown of my pupils and u stabbed me!
U poured gramaxone on the purity of feelings that grew like buttress roots
created a rainforest the amazon could not compare to this ,
speices of trees grew so tall from this love , trees so tall so vast the world for the next century could not find enough scientists even if they made everyone on the earth scientist they would take 5millleniua to understand every root of my love for u
How could u
U spoke these words
Like a mature woman i figure this is the type of hoggwash i just have to accept and i swallowed
This poison
puked blood
Blood of our memories
I lay on the on the dessert u ripped the zest of life from under my feet and i fell
Into the fetal position
Tightly knit into a cocoon of screams , screams of the hungry children in Africa pounding in my ear drum
Screams of a pregnant mom stuck in the climax of labour – her’s sons head is unable to pass tru and she screams – these screams trapped in my womb – dancing in my womb
Screams of 13 year old girls jus bought by some affluent manic about to snatch her innocence with his over grown syringe – and she screams in fear with these screams she prays they pave a road so clear for her escape– these screams now trapped in me –
Screams of mothers who have to watch ther only son being sold and daughter brutally raped and killed and then her husband watches her – his last stare on this earth before his head gets cut off – and she screams – her world shattered this world of her’s captured in a bubble stuck in my gullet
Im so shaken my breathe stutters ,
i speak and true words to express this pain u cannot hear ,
they run out of my mouth and get frozen in mid air
This natural disaster goes down in history , beats the history of those that have hurt me
In this hurricane of memories Im tumbling back and forth in slow motion as my spirit is ripped and shot back in to my mouth then ripped and shot in to my heart ,
ripped and shot back into the hollowness of a soul that God himself doesn't recognize anymore –
How is it possible for u to trap history in me
The horrors of world war one , two and three, the genocides , the evils of the Jagdeo regime , the cries of the bones of the unjust buried beneath africa’s soil of blood – soil of horror ,
The slaves of the 18th century. Look upon my anguish, the witchcraft of my pain , immediately blinds them , confuses them
they run happily into the arms of the modern day slave masters –
My horror gives rise to new found definitions for pain – even encyclopedias protest in the court of law , my pain requires a lifetime to comprehend .....so they too turn their backs on me
How could u
U were my everything
If this pain were a virus – she would be the mother of aids the mother of cancer the mother of hate
If this pain were a woman the devil would not be worthy to grace her presence
This pain so strong so indestructible it can replace the ozone layer
This pain is a freak of nature
My memories now like a puzzle all i remember is the first time i saw u and ...... this end .....but ..somehow I'm still alive
And for showing me the resilience of my heart .....
I thank u
My affliction will Smile!
Any day now , my affliction shall one day ask death , why do u linger
I am now , the stench of my pain now stiff strings stretched on violins , pricked by demons in heart break cafes
Come!
Stab me in the neck,
Come to me beast
Suckle from my breast the rich pain that squirts from the crying nipples
Come death , don’t linger , life is but a pale distant desert , i search for a new belonging with u
Come death .. maybe just ,maybe my pain will be too impalitable and u fade into insignificance
I take ur position
I become the death reaper,
Longing to inject the innocent ....
Young hurt beasts that now hunt to hurt ...
My afflictions will look upon this pain and smile
My afflictions shall stand tall like the lonely eerie ghost u cant see but feel slithering along ur shoulders in a dark alley way
Come death , even though i have killed u i will teach thee
Learn to kill the unknowing lovingly ..
Let love be the difference that kills
Our difference ... that kills the ability to determine the difference
The difference built on a different understanding .............of a girl suck not knowing the difference between the road to her demise and the road to her hap[pines cuz at the starting line both roads are painted sweetly
Oh how lovely ... how nice to see the stars fall in ecstasy and die ... die suddenly ..
Oh how lovely to see the tulips and forget me not be forgotten ... how powerful the power to make the unforgettable forgotten ... in seconds ....
To make sweet memories forgotten ... by one sentence
My afflictions shall look upon this and feel at peace ....
but justice hasn’t been totally achieved ..
More death ... chants that resonate so sweetly ... birds fly and die in mid air ...
Flowers now opening their eyes to peek at the world for their very first time. And die .. ...withered bodies .. Rejected by the soil ..deemed indigestible ...
Not to worry flowery ghosts .. bring ur pain ...
Lets mask the roses .... after all ... they are always wanted ....
Wait for the moment to strike ..
Let me teach u ... show u the road to sweet ... venting
Let a bewildered lover pass .. pick u ... the now rose disguised ..
He takes it to his lover ..
And its now ... STRIKE ..... consume her
Let her lungs be clogged enough by ur scent and let her eyes be clouded by ur red veil
..... just wait .... whilst i work on him ..... distracting him ... he finds .. new love
Breaks her heart ...
Now u rose , that was once forgotten ... don’t waver ...
Yes !!! chuckle at her pain , let her clogged lungs ... bleed .. swell her veins with the drop of every tear
Let her eyes not see where she goes ... she is blinded by ur veil ... make the red turn black ... blind her with pain
Watch her die .. slowly and before she takes that last breath to scream ... mute her ...
Let it implode in her ... give her no space to release ....
....my afflictions shall watch at this .. and feel at peace .. but justice has not been achieved ... more souls i seek .. more souls i seek ..
I am now , the stench of my pain now stiff strings stretched on violins , pricked by demons in heart break cafes
Come!
Stab me in the neck,
Come to me beast
Suckle from my breast the rich pain that squirts from the crying nipples
Come death , don’t linger , life is but a pale distant desert , i search for a new belonging with u
Come death .. maybe just ,maybe my pain will be too impalitable and u fade into insignificance
I take ur position
I become the death reaper,
Longing to inject the innocent ....
Young hurt beasts that now hunt to hurt ...
My afflictions will look upon this pain and smile
My afflictions shall stand tall like the lonely eerie ghost u cant see but feel slithering along ur shoulders in a dark alley way
Come death , even though i have killed u i will teach thee
Learn to kill the unknowing lovingly ..
Let love be the difference that kills
Our difference ... that kills the ability to determine the difference
The difference built on a different understanding .............of a girl suck not knowing the difference between the road to her demise and the road to her hap[pines cuz at the starting line both roads are painted sweetly
Oh how lovely ... how nice to see the stars fall in ecstasy and die ... die suddenly ..
Oh how lovely to see the tulips and forget me not be forgotten ... how powerful the power to make the unforgettable forgotten ... in seconds ....
To make sweet memories forgotten ... by one sentence
My afflictions shall look upon this and feel at peace ....
but justice hasn’t been totally achieved ..
More death ... chants that resonate so sweetly ... birds fly and die in mid air ...
Flowers now opening their eyes to peek at the world for their very first time. And die .. ...withered bodies .. Rejected by the soil ..deemed indigestible ...
Not to worry flowery ghosts .. bring ur pain ...
Lets mask the roses .... after all ... they are always wanted ....
Wait for the moment to strike ..
Let me teach u ... show u the road to sweet ... venting
Let a bewildered lover pass .. pick u ... the now rose disguised ..
He takes it to his lover ..
And its now ... STRIKE ..... consume her
Let her lungs be clogged enough by ur scent and let her eyes be clouded by ur red veil
..... just wait .... whilst i work on him ..... distracting him ... he finds .. new love
Breaks her heart ...
Now u rose , that was once forgotten ... don’t waver ...
Yes !!! chuckle at her pain , let her clogged lungs ... bleed .. swell her veins with the drop of every tear
Let her eyes not see where she goes ... she is blinded by ur veil ... make the red turn black ... blind her with pain
Watch her die .. slowly and before she takes that last breath to scream ... mute her ...
Let it implode in her ... give her no space to release ....
....my afflictions shall watch at this .. and feel at peace .. but justice has not been achieved ... more souls i seek .. more souls i seek ..
Mental Cigarette
Sipping on red wine
Fermenting in the jazzy setting ....
The misty air dances with the rays of sunlight stretching its limbs through the sleeping glass
There sits this woman ...
Skin like a melting toffee
With a huge afro
Her gestures ... Sophisticated ...
A contained kind of feisty that's just eager to tap its feet .... To the haunting blues
But she mystified me
... Smooth. Succulent yet curvy legs.
Folded in royal manner ..
Chin perched ... Held high ..
The accessory to her aristocratic nature and she
Inhales the smoke
Inhaling .. The past and present in the pipe she pulled on strategicaLly and sometimes ... Inhaled harder ... Unconsciously ...... Exhaling at the punctuation in each thought
And that seemed so sensual ....
She inhaled the lessons .... Of anything
and everything ..
With steady eyes fixed on the " do whops " and " humming " from the jazzy orchestra
I longed for this " look "
This ease ... With this posh refined finish ...
To make everything speak in the smoke I exhaled ...
With calm .. Soothing expressions to contrast the taste of the bitter - sweet air
So I .... Folded my legs
And .... Loosed my hair
...... Loving my loose goldish curly - yet tired afro
And I erected my back in sensual military manner and ....
Dived into the 1962 in the blues ..... Transported every part of me ... To the richness of that century that merely traveled through the trumpets to the ears of surface listeners
And I began to smoke ....
Inhaling for the first time .... A mental cigarette ..
Wrapping the ugliness I brushed aside in an objective perspective brownish kind of paper ...
And lit it afire
.... And virgin lungs .. Coughed ..
Unaware of this new found form of thinking ...
So again I pulled lightly ...
Closed my eyes and exhaled ... The impurities ... The lesson of the ugliness now filling my lungs ..
Floating higher ... In the air of 1962
and I rolled another blunt of blunt memories and aDded the grated orange peels of the sweet present ...
And this new taste so poignant , pungent .. Gave me a greater understanding ... Of the connections I missed ... During conscious thinking
... My goodness this " high "
Became irresistible .... I heard the humming birds outside the window pane singing to the hibiscus . Using the jazzy ambiance as his backup
....And then it hit me
When in deep thought ...
Take time to slow down .... Move through , under and over ur words .... And then in reverse ...
And sometimes just ponder on one word or the titles of each lesson taught
Pay attention ...
Inhale and exhale ...
Smoke those words
And smoke ur thoughts
And smoke ......even the lessons that hurt ! ...
#to the girl that's still hurting
Fermenting in the jazzy setting ....
The misty air dances with the rays of sunlight stretching its limbs through the sleeping glass
There sits this woman ...
Skin like a melting toffee
With a huge afro
Her gestures ... Sophisticated ...
A contained kind of feisty that's just eager to tap its feet .... To the haunting blues
But she mystified me
... Smooth. Succulent yet curvy legs.
Folded in royal manner ..
Chin perched ... Held high ..
The accessory to her aristocratic nature and she
Inhales the smoke
Inhaling .. The past and present in the pipe she pulled on strategicaLly and sometimes ... Inhaled harder ... Unconsciously ...... Exhaling at the punctuation in each thought
And that seemed so sensual ....
She inhaled the lessons .... Of anything
and everything ..
With steady eyes fixed on the " do whops " and " humming " from the jazzy orchestra
I longed for this " look "
This ease ... With this posh refined finish ...
To make everything speak in the smoke I exhaled ...
With calm .. Soothing expressions to contrast the taste of the bitter - sweet air
So I .... Folded my legs
And .... Loosed my hair
...... Loving my loose goldish curly - yet tired afro
And I erected my back in sensual military manner and ....
Dived into the 1962 in the blues ..... Transported every part of me ... To the richness of that century that merely traveled through the trumpets to the ears of surface listeners
And I began to smoke ....
Inhaling for the first time .... A mental cigarette ..
Wrapping the ugliness I brushed aside in an objective perspective brownish kind of paper ...
And lit it afire
.... And virgin lungs .. Coughed ..
Unaware of this new found form of thinking ...
So again I pulled lightly ...
Closed my eyes and exhaled ... The impurities ... The lesson of the ugliness now filling my lungs ..
Floating higher ... In the air of 1962
and I rolled another blunt of blunt memories and aDded the grated orange peels of the sweet present ...
And this new taste so poignant , pungent .. Gave me a greater understanding ... Of the connections I missed ... During conscious thinking
... My goodness this " high "
Became irresistible .... I heard the humming birds outside the window pane singing to the hibiscus . Using the jazzy ambiance as his backup
....And then it hit me
When in deep thought ...
Take time to slow down .... Move through , under and over ur words .... And then in reverse ...
And sometimes just ponder on one word or the titles of each lesson taught
Pay attention ...
Inhale and exhale ...
Smoke those words
And smoke ur thoughts
And smoke ......even the lessons that hurt ! ...
#to the girl that's still hurting
Discrimination
Thank u
For this accolade of achievement
First of all I'd like to thank all my fans like :
East side
West side
The government - omg u are my biggest supporters
Never did I think I'd last so long
In fact
I became the cookie that reveals the fortune for this country
Deciding who gets it and who doesn't
I'm the ugliest chick in the world
Iv got black and yellow crooked teeth
Green mucus that hangs from my nose
And no matter how much I bathe with soap powder and bleach I still can't hide the stench that reeks ...
But the worst I smelled
The more fans came running
Screaming my name
Bringing their friends : non believers
Fresh mental sacrifices for me : their god
I suppose my fans think:
Its totally cool to be ugly like me
Its totally appealing to be a slave
Its totally cool to be my dog
Thank u .... Its actually a great honour to use u
For without u ...
This won't be possible
Thank u for playing my songs everyday
These tunes that ignore laws. And sits as the speaker of parliament
But truth be told I'm the worst type of disease
And the messed up part about it - u ignore the cure for me ... U ignore the wiser u
But listen I too like the discriminated ... Am tired of u
Got these " higher minds of society " trying to get rid of me
Like I'm just all up in ur grill
Excuse me ?
I never asked to be with u
Let me explain what really happens to u
Ur actions are manifestations of ur dying spiritual being .... The slow death of the higher u
shackled to the witchcraft of ur inability to rise above the polluted social norms
Shackled to the in constructive ways u choose to handle ur insecurities
U - give ur mind to me
U - ignore ur better reasoning and judgment until they slip into a coma
U - murder ur higher self
NOT ME
Remember I don't have a gun to ur head ... Commanding that u obey me
The words u spit are mirrors that surround u
Mirrors that reveal the dead uv become
The ugly uv become
Truth is babe the problem
" Isn't me - iTs u "
I am but a word .... Without u
With out u I am 0
Let me die in peace
Let me remain history - stop resurrecting me
Let the higher u
The wiser u - take charge
Let my fan base get to 0
Let my value .... Get to 0
For this accolade of achievement
First of all I'd like to thank all my fans like :
East side
West side
The government - omg u are my biggest supporters
Never did I think I'd last so long
In fact
I became the cookie that reveals the fortune for this country
Deciding who gets it and who doesn't
I'm the ugliest chick in the world
Iv got black and yellow crooked teeth
Green mucus that hangs from my nose
And no matter how much I bathe with soap powder and bleach I still can't hide the stench that reeks ...
But the worst I smelled
The more fans came running
Screaming my name
Bringing their friends : non believers
Fresh mental sacrifices for me : their god
I suppose my fans think:
Its totally cool to be ugly like me
Its totally appealing to be a slave
Its totally cool to be my dog
Thank u .... Its actually a great honour to use u
For without u ...
This won't be possible
Thank u for playing my songs everyday
These tunes that ignore laws. And sits as the speaker of parliament
But truth be told I'm the worst type of disease
And the messed up part about it - u ignore the cure for me ... U ignore the wiser u
But listen I too like the discriminated ... Am tired of u
Got these " higher minds of society " trying to get rid of me
Like I'm just all up in ur grill
Excuse me ?
I never asked to be with u
Let me explain what really happens to u
Ur actions are manifestations of ur dying spiritual being .... The slow death of the higher u
shackled to the witchcraft of ur inability to rise above the polluted social norms
Shackled to the in constructive ways u choose to handle ur insecurities
U - give ur mind to me
U - ignore ur better reasoning and judgment until they slip into a coma
U - murder ur higher self
NOT ME
Remember I don't have a gun to ur head ... Commanding that u obey me
The words u spit are mirrors that surround u
Mirrors that reveal the dead uv become
The ugly uv become
Truth is babe the problem
" Isn't me - iTs u "
I am but a word .... Without u
With out u I am 0
Let me die in peace
Let me remain history - stop resurrecting me
Let the higher u
The wiser u - take charge
Let my fan base get to 0
Let my value .... Get to 0
We Found Love in a Hopeless Place
The sky set ablaze by sapphires of confusion
Sapphires of night and day
In fusion
Cosmic ... Wonder
Planets dumbfounded
Enclosing a space of emptiness
Where lover of truth meets lover of poetry
Both standing on a land of unfounded mystery
Embroidered with cracks of ecstasy
Roses of temptation stalked so high , their scent - gloved our hands
But the hurricane of an untimely circumstance hurled around us
Tattering our clothing ....but couldn't
Break our stare
We found love in a hopeless place
We drew closer ... Walking a path of unfamiliar scents of truth and that didn't seem to move us
We drew closer .. Stares exchanging
With every step took our spirits deeper .. Growing older .. Together
The souls that recognized their life , their meaning their everything ..in lover's daze
We found love in a hopeless place
We ... Now close ... Hands melting the air that envy fingers embalmed with love of fusioned cosmic splendor
We didn't notice the dragons that rose from the cracks of truth beneath us
The dragons that ate our foundation - the physical
But not for one moment did we fall
We stood higher
suspended .... By the moonlight and sunlight ..of love that was meant to be
Engraved on the stones of spiritual blessings
Engraved on moon's deepest craters
We found love in a hopeless place
Denying truth
Denying the flaws
Denying the possibility of faults in the crystal of" us"
Denying that us- possessed weaknesses
Until
Truth became the death reaper
Flaws became daggers
Faults became the frigid climate surrounding us
And the weaknesses - our monsters
But our stare didn't break
We grew stronger
We found love in a hopeless place
Even when the death of happiness came
Our stare didn't break
Even when hearts got tested
Our unioned spirits .. Fastened .. Held on tighter .... Cemented with forever
We were simply ... Hopeless lovers ...
We found love ..... And the place just didn't matter ....
Sapphires of night and day
In fusion
Cosmic ... Wonder
Planets dumbfounded
Enclosing a space of emptiness
Where lover of truth meets lover of poetry
Both standing on a land of unfounded mystery
Embroidered with cracks of ecstasy
Roses of temptation stalked so high , their scent - gloved our hands
But the hurricane of an untimely circumstance hurled around us
Tattering our clothing ....but couldn't
Break our stare
We found love in a hopeless place
We drew closer ... Walking a path of unfamiliar scents of truth and that didn't seem to move us
We drew closer .. Stares exchanging
With every step took our spirits deeper .. Growing older .. Together
The souls that recognized their life , their meaning their everything ..in lover's daze
We found love in a hopeless place
We ... Now close ... Hands melting the air that envy fingers embalmed with love of fusioned cosmic splendor
We didn't notice the dragons that rose from the cracks of truth beneath us
The dragons that ate our foundation - the physical
But not for one moment did we fall
We stood higher
suspended .... By the moonlight and sunlight ..of love that was meant to be
Engraved on the stones of spiritual blessings
Engraved on moon's deepest craters
We found love in a hopeless place
Denying truth
Denying the flaws
Denying the possibility of faults in the crystal of" us"
Denying that us- possessed weaknesses
Until
Truth became the death reaper
Flaws became daggers
Faults became the frigid climate surrounding us
And the weaknesses - our monsters
But our stare didn't break
We grew stronger
We found love in a hopeless place
Even when the death of happiness came
Our stare didn't break
Even when hearts got tested
Our unioned spirits .. Fastened .. Held on tighter .... Cemented with forever
We were simply ... Hopeless lovers ...
We found love ..... And the place just didn't matter ....
Your Presence
My dearest ,
if only you knew what your presence does to me
Your presence is the sunlight,
Peering its way through the forest's web of interlocking leaves
glistening over the streams of my imagination
Thoughts now like steady rough excited currents ,
gushing through the dry alleys of my heart ,
memories of your absence ... are now long forgotten ...
now nature awakened from its spell blooms ..untamed , unkempt,
butterflies metamorphosed
into dragons of nervousness , happiness and restlessness ...
my veins so confused , forget their function , no longer regulating the temperature of my blood
they are invigorated by your presence , they too long to be noticed ,
in childlike envy they now mimic the heart ,
beating ,
on the drums of my cells ,
resounding a haunting melody ,
the tempo increases
and this causes my lips now so red , plump .. on the edge of bursting to tremble
The halo of heavenly mist that glides , twirls and kisses the innocence painted on petals fills my lungs –
i exhale the scents of lavender , tulips and forget me not..
At your presence
My nerve endings bow ,
as the nightingales of my eyes sing in merriment of the return of a bleeding heart’s king
Your presence ... strips me Of fear
Burns my clothing ...
Removes my skin that lies ,
a skin struggling to hide the earthquake within
U now clad me in the finest silk of our memories ..
happy , sensual memories
Your presence ....cuts my Achilles heel
i fall gracefully onto the floor ur presence graces, and i worship that space ...
ur presence sets ablaze the weeds of doubt
renews the soil of my mind ....
just a sprinkle of the need for me in ur stare
blossoms a surreal garden , trees that can trample over the barbed wires of my soul ...
ivy poisoning the cold fears untold .. they wither ... returning to the dust , buried where memories of your absence sleeps ..
Your presence is the light i clutch to ,
The light that banishes the darkness ...
My last can of oxygen
Without u ....im a stem .. that has been forsaken by its petals
Ur presence ... a cosmic complexity of a light ...
A force that shakes ,feeds, tumbles , stirs .. And dances with the life force in me
if only you knew what your presence does to me
Your presence is the sunlight,
Peering its way through the forest's web of interlocking leaves
glistening over the streams of my imagination
Thoughts now like steady rough excited currents ,
gushing through the dry alleys of my heart ,
memories of your absence ... are now long forgotten ...
now nature awakened from its spell blooms ..untamed , unkempt,
butterflies metamorphosed
into dragons of nervousness , happiness and restlessness ...
my veins so confused , forget their function , no longer regulating the temperature of my blood
they are invigorated by your presence , they too long to be noticed ,
in childlike envy they now mimic the heart ,
beating ,
on the drums of my cells ,
resounding a haunting melody ,
the tempo increases
and this causes my lips now so red , plump .. on the edge of bursting to tremble
The halo of heavenly mist that glides , twirls and kisses the innocence painted on petals fills my lungs –
i exhale the scents of lavender , tulips and forget me not..
At your presence
My nerve endings bow ,
as the nightingales of my eyes sing in merriment of the return of a bleeding heart’s king
Your presence ... strips me Of fear
Burns my clothing ...
Removes my skin that lies ,
a skin struggling to hide the earthquake within
U now clad me in the finest silk of our memories ..
happy , sensual memories
Your presence ....cuts my Achilles heel
i fall gracefully onto the floor ur presence graces, and i worship that space ...
ur presence sets ablaze the weeds of doubt
renews the soil of my mind ....
just a sprinkle of the need for me in ur stare
blossoms a surreal garden , trees that can trample over the barbed wires of my soul ...
ivy poisoning the cold fears untold .. they wither ... returning to the dust , buried where memories of your absence sleeps ..
Your presence is the light i clutch to ,
The light that banishes the darkness ...
My last can of oxygen
Without u ....im a stem .. that has been forsaken by its petals
Ur presence ... a cosmic complexity of a light ...
A force that shakes ,feeds, tumbles , stirs .. And dances with the life force in me
Touching Elbows
Lying in bed ,
I attentively count all the white grains of the wall , as if awaiting the jury's decision
Shackled to thoughts screaming to b heard ,
my skin that longs to be embedded on every level with urs ...
So I lay I lay chilled , paralyzed. By ur selective bodily responses ....
Nervous , anxious ,
Facing the left and ur facing the back of my neck ,
eyes closed ,
I can't stand not to c ur pierCing stare that blossoms the real me
So instead ...
We touch elbows
This excruciating pain strangles my every nerve ending ,
Silence , silence that scorches the veins of an empty shell ,
Silence : like the moment a crippled , cold , confused tear crawls slowly down a cheek of shatters dreams , hopes. And a lacerated heartbroken emotion
I wanna skate. Slowly through ur mind ever so eloquently
Correct my mistakes etched in ur mind so diligently
Legibly my emotions sign : I'm sorry
Sorry for what u say : u know not what uv done
Well I'm sorry for what we've become ,
this isn't us ,
this isn't trust ,
trust we built ,
fought for , protected , pledged that it'll be untouched,
lovable : ur best quality I suppose ,that now raps it self , like cold mist. On folded untrusting fists ,
I c u have ur guard up ,
my mind ? thoughts. That Wander through. Corn fields , scared , alone , lonely , shivering
resolution from u I seek
but instead we bump elbows , touch elbows ,
: awkward silence ,
emptiness : a mind starving for an answer , dying for ur answer ,
hands long for ur affection : ur affection that kills me so softly and its the only death I prefer , cuz its then and only then I feel @ home , at peace , at rest , ...
But instead we. Touch elbows : a reminder that , I miss u or u miss me or a sign that I'm leaving u or ur leaving. Me .. The inevitable ..
So we touch elbows :
imaginations criss cross over the solutions to this jig saw mind game ,
yes I said it a game : to c who crumbles first , who's gona be weak , so weak that uncensored words tumble ,
so scared that fears are humbled ...
And comfort u with birthing lies ,
lies that help u get through every second
and u see I know this weak one is me cuz. .
I don't wanna touch elbows ...
I attentively count all the white grains of the wall , as if awaiting the jury's decision
Shackled to thoughts screaming to b heard ,
my skin that longs to be embedded on every level with urs ...
So I lay I lay chilled , paralyzed. By ur selective bodily responses ....
Nervous , anxious ,
Facing the left and ur facing the back of my neck ,
eyes closed ,
I can't stand not to c ur pierCing stare that blossoms the real me
So instead ...
We touch elbows
This excruciating pain strangles my every nerve ending ,
Silence , silence that scorches the veins of an empty shell ,
Silence : like the moment a crippled , cold , confused tear crawls slowly down a cheek of shatters dreams , hopes. And a lacerated heartbroken emotion
I wanna skate. Slowly through ur mind ever so eloquently
Correct my mistakes etched in ur mind so diligently
Legibly my emotions sign : I'm sorry
Sorry for what u say : u know not what uv done
Well I'm sorry for what we've become ,
this isn't us ,
this isn't trust ,
trust we built ,
fought for , protected , pledged that it'll be untouched,
lovable : ur best quality I suppose ,that now raps it self , like cold mist. On folded untrusting fists ,
I c u have ur guard up ,
my mind ? thoughts. That Wander through. Corn fields , scared , alone , lonely , shivering
resolution from u I seek
but instead we bump elbows , touch elbows ,
: awkward silence ,
emptiness : a mind starving for an answer , dying for ur answer ,
hands long for ur affection : ur affection that kills me so softly and its the only death I prefer , cuz its then and only then I feel @ home , at peace , at rest , ...
But instead we. Touch elbows : a reminder that , I miss u or u miss me or a sign that I'm leaving u or ur leaving. Me .. The inevitable ..
So we touch elbows :
imaginations criss cross over the solutions to this jig saw mind game ,
yes I said it a game : to c who crumbles first , who's gona be weak , so weak that uncensored words tumble ,
so scared that fears are humbled ...
And comfort u with birthing lies ,
lies that help u get through every second
and u see I know this weak one is me cuz. .
I don't wanna touch elbows ...
The Sweetest Bliss
He said
Spead ur legs , wide , .. No. Wider
Let me slowly trace my breath across the neck of ur thoughts , teasing u , taunting u ,
Let my fingers graze the now erect , taut , nipples of ur imagination , ....... Wait ! Wait ! Hold on ... I don't want ur mind to cum like waves that climax on the hard piercing grains on the shore , no .... When ur mind. Cumz u'll never ever forget me ....
He said -
I wana make u cum so hard that my words shatter every white blood cell , leaving u weak , vulnerable , helpless to my choice of ur defeat .......
My words shall tease u , moving slowly , in and out in and out , every vein , every artery , every capillary will know my name , they will fear me. , they will fear the length of my words the depth of of my control and the thickness of my bliss
He said
Ur mind will want ,need , love , worship and remain faithful to me
He said
I 'll make u come so hard that ur dreams will manifest ,
And alas he takes his cold wet broad tongue of wisdom
And licks my warm , moist , womanhood !now I'm Moaning oh god what else is next ? .... My eyes now in the back of my head , toes curled , .... I give in , he sinks his poisonous poignant prongs into the softest , hidden tissues of my mind's pelvic floor ....our words .. Kissing swaping thrust for thrust ... Passionately ,... compassionately , and I'm about to come , choking on his bliss , he pulls the ropes of manipulation firmly around my thoughts of escape ... And I love it , ohhhh goodd ! .... Iii .... Was ..ahhh ... and I cum. Leaving behind a sentence brutally decapitated , nullified of its meaning , strangled , left to be battered shattered black and blue from his clutches ,
My mind - now sore , sweaty , swollen , ..... words .......I have none .........my thoughts ......now splinters by the millions scattered like leaves under his sun .... Left to be used as a mosaic .... To this artist I am bound .
Spead ur legs , wide , .. No. Wider
Let me slowly trace my breath across the neck of ur thoughts , teasing u , taunting u ,
Let my fingers graze the now erect , taut , nipples of ur imagination , ....... Wait ! Wait ! Hold on ... I don't want ur mind to cum like waves that climax on the hard piercing grains on the shore , no .... When ur mind. Cumz u'll never ever forget me ....
He said -
I wana make u cum so hard that my words shatter every white blood cell , leaving u weak , vulnerable , helpless to my choice of ur defeat .......
My words shall tease u , moving slowly , in and out in and out , every vein , every artery , every capillary will know my name , they will fear me. , they will fear the length of my words the depth of of my control and the thickness of my bliss
He said
Ur mind will want ,need , love , worship and remain faithful to me
He said
I 'll make u come so hard that ur dreams will manifest ,
And alas he takes his cold wet broad tongue of wisdom
And licks my warm , moist , womanhood !now I'm Moaning oh god what else is next ? .... My eyes now in the back of my head , toes curled , .... I give in , he sinks his poisonous poignant prongs into the softest , hidden tissues of my mind's pelvic floor ....our words .. Kissing swaping thrust for thrust ... Passionately ,... compassionately , and I'm about to come , choking on his bliss , he pulls the ropes of manipulation firmly around my thoughts of escape ... And I love it , ohhhh goodd ! .... Iii .... Was ..ahhh ... and I cum. Leaving behind a sentence brutally decapitated , nullified of its meaning , strangled , left to be battered shattered black and blue from his clutches ,
My mind - now sore , sweaty , swollen , ..... words .......I have none .........my thoughts ......now splinters by the millions scattered like leaves under his sun .... Left to be used as a mosaic .... To this artist I am bound .
The Man with the white collar job speaks !
Corruption
Extortion
Politicians blinded by misguided proportions of self preservation
Tyranny .....the law binding axis of this political reality
.... Deception ......
Rules used to trap us
Enslave us to this system
A system - broken ,
its true purpose now stagnant ,this frozen purpose - now like the berlin wall that prevents the ghost of the rainbow from blossoming a better tomorrow
But tomorrow - too far away
Descension in workers pay
Victims left to choose between being broken by the political highway or choose the broken road to the devil's high way ...either way neither paved with hope ...
More lies
More strategies enforced to force the weak to sell their souls
Bargain with the devil's bitches ...they speak their poli-tricks stitched with hymns of " a delicious candy covered hell" that means well ...
Life isn't what it used to be
Its hard to nourish a rose of ur dreams in hell
Eventually the roots burn .. Before it blossoms into the dreams ur dying to conceive
And that's the law of this haunted jungle
Even the strong- willed WILL have to follow
Living in a country where the truth can be ur death sentence .. Where the power of a pure mind only beckons the calls of the demons of lynching and victimization
Living in a country where everything is imported .... Except a better government !
Got these expired goods trying to lead the powerful to a bleak future , dangling their fortune before our eyes . Fortune ill-gotten ....
They whisper ... " If u pay the time , maybe u can have this too "
But its all lies ! Meant to twist , distort and shape ur mind's eye
U become hypnotized
By the fruits of ur dreams ... And u take the first step .. Further into hell .. Longing to use those fruits for their ordained purpose
But my brother they infected the soil before u started tilling
But until harvesting time you'll realize u worked in vane
Failure upon failure ... A strategy only designed to break u ... Designed to make ur mind's knee woBble
So here u are ....
Here I am
Invested too many years on massa's white collar plantation ....
Stuck in massa's system
Pay attention
Its massa's world u now live in
Equality is but a dead we speak of ... And her importance ? On the same level with scum
Honesty ... A mere joke
True love ... The official outcast of society ! No longer a fairy .. And the tales of its power ? Frowned upon
Respect for time .... A fossil buried within the core of the earth ...
Social stratification ...now determines how long friendships last
And being judged by deed and not creed is but unknown ...now unknown like the respect for black history ... A respect that now plays possum , fake or worn as a mask on 1st august
Right is now considered Wrong !
And injustice now plays jury in high courts
Now this is the road I walk .... Its curves and right turns mapped on every sign board of peace
Forced to shackle my tongue to dishonesty cuz that's the language we now speak
Forced to eat the humble pie .... So that my strong willed soul won't sign the declaration of my early death
Forced to smile in the face of corruption that leaves it stench every where ...
Marking its territory ...
So ...... Here I am ... Pondering ....with the gun ... Draped ...loosely at my cheeks ... Caressed by my tears ...
Stuck in this political hell
Whilst mental escape eludes me
Oh yes ... Modern day slavery .....and massa's got his white collar firmly shackled around my neck !
Extortion
Politicians blinded by misguided proportions of self preservation
Tyranny .....the law binding axis of this political reality
.... Deception ......
Rules used to trap us
Enslave us to this system
A system - broken ,
its true purpose now stagnant ,this frozen purpose - now like the berlin wall that prevents the ghost of the rainbow from blossoming a better tomorrow
But tomorrow - too far away
Descension in workers pay
Victims left to choose between being broken by the political highway or choose the broken road to the devil's high way ...either way neither paved with hope ...
More lies
More strategies enforced to force the weak to sell their souls
Bargain with the devil's bitches ...they speak their poli-tricks stitched with hymns of " a delicious candy covered hell" that means well ...
Life isn't what it used to be
Its hard to nourish a rose of ur dreams in hell
Eventually the roots burn .. Before it blossoms into the dreams ur dying to conceive
And that's the law of this haunted jungle
Even the strong- willed WILL have to follow
Living in a country where the truth can be ur death sentence .. Where the power of a pure mind only beckons the calls of the demons of lynching and victimization
Living in a country where everything is imported .... Except a better government !
Got these expired goods trying to lead the powerful to a bleak future , dangling their fortune before our eyes . Fortune ill-gotten ....
They whisper ... " If u pay the time , maybe u can have this too "
But its all lies ! Meant to twist , distort and shape ur mind's eye
U become hypnotized
By the fruits of ur dreams ... And u take the first step .. Further into hell .. Longing to use those fruits for their ordained purpose
But my brother they infected the soil before u started tilling
But until harvesting time you'll realize u worked in vane
Failure upon failure ... A strategy only designed to break u ... Designed to make ur mind's knee woBble
So here u are ....
Here I am
Invested too many years on massa's white collar plantation ....
Stuck in massa's system
Pay attention
Its massa's world u now live in
Equality is but a dead we speak of ... And her importance ? On the same level with scum
Honesty ... A mere joke
True love ... The official outcast of society ! No longer a fairy .. And the tales of its power ? Frowned upon
Respect for time .... A fossil buried within the core of the earth ...
Social stratification ...now determines how long friendships last
And being judged by deed and not creed is but unknown ...now unknown like the respect for black history ... A respect that now plays possum , fake or worn as a mask on 1st august
Right is now considered Wrong !
And injustice now plays jury in high courts
Now this is the road I walk .... Its curves and right turns mapped on every sign board of peace
Forced to shackle my tongue to dishonesty cuz that's the language we now speak
Forced to eat the humble pie .... So that my strong willed soul won't sign the declaration of my early death
Forced to smile in the face of corruption that leaves it stench every where ...
Marking its territory ...
So ...... Here I am ... Pondering ....with the gun ... Draped ...loosely at my cheeks ... Caressed by my tears ...
Stuck in this political hell
Whilst mental escape eludes me
Oh yes ... Modern day slavery .....and massa's got his white collar firmly shackled around my neck !
The Lone Grain
The ghost of shocked nerves
Blue , frosted veins
Stifled breath - the fog of this memory - soared in me
As I stood - erect like the oldest grain of sand , clinging to a silky thread of strength ....fearing the angry soldiers - they roar - now on my knees -shedding flakes of dead skin -my history
But the poet - hmm
Watches ... Longing to capture this anger with his words
Longing to imprint this "wonder " so perfectly onto his pupils that it is all he sees ..
The poet that doesn't write about me
Looks over me
But remembers me only when
The seas .. Are calm .... And lie on their. Bloated tummies ! Devouring the grapes in the sunrise and sunsets .... And then releases her stress on me ... With me ...
No .. I'm not remembered ... When the combustion of my days .... Make me brittle
No ... I'm not remembered ... When I'm used as a trampoline by wives of the reigning reefs .. To test , play with , and make fun of me - just for mere practice
No ... I'm not remembered when the moon and stars ... Are out ... Set a blaze their enchanting dust ... Binding hearts .. And I am left deserted ... My love has gone in pursuit of the pacific .. I am left to stare .. To feel the emptiness
The echoes of the wind now multiply in this space ...her space ..
To be continued .....
Blue , frosted veins
Stifled breath - the fog of this memory - soared in me
As I stood - erect like the oldest grain of sand , clinging to a silky thread of strength ....fearing the angry soldiers - they roar - now on my knees -shedding flakes of dead skin -my history
But the poet - hmm
Watches ... Longing to capture this anger with his words
Longing to imprint this "wonder " so perfectly onto his pupils that it is all he sees ..
The poet that doesn't write about me
Looks over me
But remembers me only when
The seas .. Are calm .... And lie on their. Bloated tummies ! Devouring the grapes in the sunrise and sunsets .... And then releases her stress on me ... With me ...
No .. I'm not remembered ... When the combustion of my days .... Make me brittle
No ... I'm not remembered ... When I'm used as a trampoline by wives of the reigning reefs .. To test , play with , and make fun of me - just for mere practice
No ... I'm not remembered when the moon and stars ... Are out ... Set a blaze their enchanting dust ... Binding hearts .. And I am left deserted ... My love has gone in pursuit of the pacific .. I am left to stare .. To feel the emptiness
The echoes of the wind now multiply in this space ...her space ..
To be continued .....
The Forbidden Dance
Dark room
Dimmed lights ....
French air - A sadistic silent audience ....
Practice session#43
Standing in the middle of the sky ....waiting .... Scared ..... Focused ....
Frigid Cheeks... tight .. Clawed by a burning thirst
I can feel his presence
Approaching
Stalking my pores ..they Gasp for breath
I dare not turn
I dare not shift ....
The skin of my veins stunned by this magnetic field...
He stretches his arms ... Firm ... Chocolate hands ...
Praying my heat melts them .... I thirst for this sweet
He places the blind fold over my eyes
His lead I must follow ...
His steps .. I must trust
In this dark world .. I'm left to follow the clear memory of his image
I test the strength of my intuition as
He proceeds to dance with the "naked "
Me
In the background-
The choirs of soft french vocal blends
Swimming over a silver river of lightly strummed guitars and cellos
Singing their instrumental opera
He stands before me
Bodies fixed in position
We glide .. Across the angry strEets of rome
Sharp Twists , swift turns , and the professional arches .....
The rhythm changes ... Wanting us to be hypnotized by its air of teasing jazz
We move .... Slowly ... His left inner thigh melting the butter of my inner cocoa thigh
He pulls me a little closer
Hand firm .. Secure .. a stethoscope listening to the heartbeat of my spine
We twirl to the skipping chimes of the cellos
And he "dips" me ..... My honey glazed kelp like hair tasting the paradise of the caribbean sea beneath me .. He rescues me ... Pulls me up ... I return .... Drenched .. Skin warm .. And wet ..
Pulls my thigh ...mid way to his stomach .... Knee bent ....
And we spin .... Cascading slowly .. Under a spanish waterfall ...... Bathing in thoughts ... Thoughts that speak for themselves
We stop .. Where we once ... Began .. In the middle of the sky .... my thigh , still frozen in the last position ...... He playfully .. Drags his nails down her neck .. She moans ... She returns , now greeted by the anger of her jealous ... Sister ....
The music ends ..... He walks slowly behind me ..... Stretches his arms over me , removes the bilnd fold .... Eye lids still pasted together from the salt of their climax ....
And I feel his presence drifting .... Leaving ..
I'm too weak to turn
And the sadistic air ... Is aroused by this ... The incomplete resolution of the forbidden dance
Dimmed lights ....
French air - A sadistic silent audience ....
Practice session#43
Standing in the middle of the sky ....waiting .... Scared ..... Focused ....
Frigid Cheeks... tight .. Clawed by a burning thirst
I can feel his presence
Approaching
Stalking my pores ..they Gasp for breath
I dare not turn
I dare not shift ....
The skin of my veins stunned by this magnetic field...
He stretches his arms ... Firm ... Chocolate hands ...
Praying my heat melts them .... I thirst for this sweet
He places the blind fold over my eyes
His lead I must follow ...
His steps .. I must trust
In this dark world .. I'm left to follow the clear memory of his image
I test the strength of my intuition as
He proceeds to dance with the "naked "
Me
In the background-
The choirs of soft french vocal blends
Swimming over a silver river of lightly strummed guitars and cellos
Singing their instrumental opera
He stands before me
Bodies fixed in position
We glide .. Across the angry strEets of rome
Sharp Twists , swift turns , and the professional arches .....
The rhythm changes ... Wanting us to be hypnotized by its air of teasing jazz
We move .... Slowly ... His left inner thigh melting the butter of my inner cocoa thigh
He pulls me a little closer
Hand firm .. Secure .. a stethoscope listening to the heartbeat of my spine
We twirl to the skipping chimes of the cellos
And he "dips" me ..... My honey glazed kelp like hair tasting the paradise of the caribbean sea beneath me .. He rescues me ... Pulls me up ... I return .... Drenched .. Skin warm .. And wet ..
Pulls my thigh ...mid way to his stomach .... Knee bent ....
And we spin .... Cascading slowly .. Under a spanish waterfall ...... Bathing in thoughts ... Thoughts that speak for themselves
We stop .. Where we once ... Began .. In the middle of the sky .... my thigh , still frozen in the last position ...... He playfully .. Drags his nails down her neck .. She moans ... She returns , now greeted by the anger of her jealous ... Sister ....
The music ends ..... He walks slowly behind me ..... Stretches his arms over me , removes the bilnd fold .... Eye lids still pasted together from the salt of their climax ....
And I feel his presence drifting .... Leaving ..
I'm too weak to turn
And the sadistic air ... Is aroused by this ... The incomplete resolution of the forbidden dance
The Bi-polar me
I'm taking a second to inhale
To cry as I clutch to memories that now run pale
To love my tears and the anguish in my fears
To love all that makes me seemingly weak
To grow where the shattered me sleeps
To ride the horse of hopefulness into the dusk of sanity
As I ride this horse I hope this foreplay
Arouses the power of my soul
Giving rise to a new me
I'm taking time to express
My thoughts: restless, gliding down the steep slippery slope of a reality stitched together with demonic fantasies
My actions : indecisive , playful , not ready to accept or be confined to a world in which u do not dwell
My emotions: longing to be owned by the higher me , the wiser me , the better me
The me I am yet to find
My mistakes leave me spiraling out of control in a hell iv created and this I feel the better me is elated .. She whispers : in my absence u shall appreciate
When I talk u don't listen
I lead u don't follow
So I'm gone
Now die in ur sorrows
I hate the me that ignores my conscience
The me trapped in a hurricane of " ken and barbie , bella and edward , cinderella , snow white, romeo and juliet "
The me that says no and means yes
The me that tries to hard to please every soul, deserving and undeserving of my love
So I'm taking time to inhale
To inhale the strength of my pain
Drink the wine of lessons learnt from my mistakes
To be intoxicated by the purity of a concoction containing the best of me
I'm taking time to cut my veins , releasing the foolishness that flows within
Draining my subconscious of misguides impulses and whims
I'm taking time to rejuvenate the dessert in my soul
Her lips : dry , cracked and thirsty
She has not the energy to scream at the door of my eardrums anymore
Iv drained her with my stupidity
She now lies still
Veins scorched and blue
Tired: her veins that are constantly pricked by flashbacks of my constantly ignoring her
The nights we fought
Each time I ignore her plights to pay attention and heed to her wisdom - I scar her
Iv stripped her of her title
Removed her voice and gave it to my most destructive and unquenchable desires
So she watches me
Eyes begging : won't u have mercy
Yet she musters enough pride
She prefers to bleed to death
So I'm taking time to feed her
With my apologies
Restore her youth and faith in me with the elixir of my submission
And make way for the dawn of a new me
I'm taking time to lick the wounds of my mind
A diamond iv allowed too often to be dropped into the mud of undeserving hands
So now I take time to revere and implement. The principles of the higher me
Paving the golden road to welcome home the wiser me
And alas, its time to respect the better me .
To cry as I clutch to memories that now run pale
To love my tears and the anguish in my fears
To love all that makes me seemingly weak
To grow where the shattered me sleeps
To ride the horse of hopefulness into the dusk of sanity
As I ride this horse I hope this foreplay
Arouses the power of my soul
Giving rise to a new me
I'm taking time to express
My thoughts: restless, gliding down the steep slippery slope of a reality stitched together with demonic fantasies
My actions : indecisive , playful , not ready to accept or be confined to a world in which u do not dwell
My emotions: longing to be owned by the higher me , the wiser me , the better me
The me I am yet to find
My mistakes leave me spiraling out of control in a hell iv created and this I feel the better me is elated .. She whispers : in my absence u shall appreciate
When I talk u don't listen
I lead u don't follow
So I'm gone
Now die in ur sorrows
I hate the me that ignores my conscience
The me trapped in a hurricane of " ken and barbie , bella and edward , cinderella , snow white, romeo and juliet "
The me that says no and means yes
The me that tries to hard to please every soul, deserving and undeserving of my love
So I'm taking time to inhale
To inhale the strength of my pain
Drink the wine of lessons learnt from my mistakes
To be intoxicated by the purity of a concoction containing the best of me
I'm taking time to cut my veins , releasing the foolishness that flows within
Draining my subconscious of misguides impulses and whims
I'm taking time to rejuvenate the dessert in my soul
Her lips : dry , cracked and thirsty
She has not the energy to scream at the door of my eardrums anymore
Iv drained her with my stupidity
She now lies still
Veins scorched and blue
Tired: her veins that are constantly pricked by flashbacks of my constantly ignoring her
The nights we fought
Each time I ignore her plights to pay attention and heed to her wisdom - I scar her
Iv stripped her of her title
Removed her voice and gave it to my most destructive and unquenchable desires
So she watches me
Eyes begging : won't u have mercy
Yet she musters enough pride
She prefers to bleed to death
So I'm taking time to feed her
With my apologies
Restore her youth and faith in me with the elixir of my submission
And make way for the dawn of a new me
I'm taking time to lick the wounds of my mind
A diamond iv allowed too often to be dropped into the mud of undeserving hands
So now I take time to revere and implement. The principles of the higher me
Paving the golden road to welcome home the wiser me
And alas, its time to respect the better me .
Tango
The black dust settles ...
Grey clouds ...too frightened to move
There is no sea , no sign of life
No sign of nature ... No sign of mother
The wreckages of the black pearl - Black ravens
Drinking the blood of the earth
From a straw -breaking her back with their a long brittle whip , a long bloody spatula - over grown -with fragments of the earth's spine stuck to it
The violins resound in the empty bellies of the wind
This silver and black dust of the east and west - tango
Rising
Determined to show who is superior
Determined to seduce
Determined to be the supreme rule of the desolate lands of wreckages - of reLations - their images lay every where , in every angle - WRECKED angles
They dance placing their burnt elegant feet , between the pains of their partner , carefully slashing main arteries perfectly , so sweetly
Injecting their ancestorial potion from the black mamba
They tango until two ----- leaves one
Grey clouds ...too frightened to move
There is no sea , no sign of life
No sign of nature ... No sign of mother
The wreckages of the black pearl - Black ravens
Drinking the blood of the earth
From a straw -breaking her back with their a long brittle whip , a long bloody spatula - over grown -with fragments of the earth's spine stuck to it
The violins resound in the empty bellies of the wind
This silver and black dust of the east and west - tango
Rising
Determined to show who is superior
Determined to seduce
Determined to be the supreme rule of the desolate lands of wreckages - of reLations - their images lay every where , in every angle - WRECKED angles
They dance placing their burnt elegant feet , between the pains of their partner , carefully slashing main arteries perfectly , so sweetly
Injecting their ancestorial potion from the black mamba
They tango until two ----- leaves one
Obligation
Dear poetry,
I have a duty to be honest with u .
To share even that which confuses me
But how do I share with my audience
How do I share demons and still expect the heavens of formed relations to remain the same ?
How do I share , hoping their perception of me doesn't become tainted , the me I give , ..I give in parts ,I am terrified .. To give with out fear
poetry , I know this dark air commands to be written , and then needs to be told , but this is where I protest , but poetry being herself ,she refuses to sit idly by and allow the cruel politicians of silence , to tRample over and erase her voice
Not ever can she stand the thought of this
So , how do I share , how do I write , paint these pictures , paint this underworld ... And still remain , the way I were , before u heard this ,
what paint , what textures do I use to paint the awful truth .. And still remain beautful to u
How does the crack in the wall accept that he is the flaw
This truth isn't icecream , ... A few flavours , not to ur liking but u still love icecream
This truth .... Prefers to sit alone , this truth , this eldorado prefers to remain unknown , ..... For the glut of this truth might destroy me or u or both , destroy what we have , had , cod have had ....
I have a duty to be honest with u .
To share even that which confuses me
But how do I share with my audience
How do I share demons and still expect the heavens of formed relations to remain the same ?
How do I share , hoping their perception of me doesn't become tainted , the me I give , ..I give in parts ,I am terrified .. To give with out fear
poetry , I know this dark air commands to be written , and then needs to be told , but this is where I protest , but poetry being herself ,she refuses to sit idly by and allow the cruel politicians of silence , to tRample over and erase her voice
Not ever can she stand the thought of this
So , how do I share , how do I write , paint these pictures , paint this underworld ... And still remain , the way I were , before u heard this ,
what paint , what textures do I use to paint the awful truth .. And still remain beautful to u
How does the crack in the wall accept that he is the flaw
This truth isn't icecream , ... A few flavours , not to ur liking but u still love icecream
This truth .... Prefers to sit alone , this truth , this eldorado prefers to remain unknown , ..... For the glut of this truth might destroy me or u or both , destroy what we have , had , cod have had ....
My God is always with me
Objects that remind me of the sweet past
Constantly
People on my journey
All forms of temptations that knock on my door
The door of memory
But my GOD is always with me
To strengthen me for the mental battles
To seal my lips with patience
And tame my tongue with wisdom
Flow like a never ending scripture
Psalms that polish my palms when raised to glorify him
Bless the goodbyes I wave
And cleanse the hellos I receive
As I walk the narrow road
Paying attention to all I didn't create
Learning from the flowers that are also tested
Though the signs of thirst are visible on the pale thin petals
The spiritual stalk holds them firm
Until the rain ... Falls like showers of an awaited love ... Ordained
And I pay attention
In the midst of acidity their roots didn't burn
protected they were by his love
And the weeds that tried to rob the soil of the best in the physical world ...
She ignored .. Fasted . And only hungered for god's word ...
That needed not the soil ...to feed her ...
Her head. Tilted high by faith
And her periphery armed with god's spirit
Distractions or the presence of the enemy shall not invade
For god is always with them
And my god is always with me.
His love continues to nurse this " new born"
Finding her way from the ungodly
So he straps my feet with the sandals of direction and protection
his verses
Imprinted on a whipped back ... And slowly with his word I heal ...
Gives me the vision to see my lessons in 3D .....
His word : walk with me my child and never question
As I walk , I repeat : my god is always with me
His greenery of love
Flourish within
Rids the soil of my being of this toxic emptiness
Churns my feeling of nothingness into a compost of invaluable purpose ..in mind , body and spirit
Now , growing in his image , with each step
I being to find my higher self
Along his path
But the floods of past ecstasy pass to kiss the weakness that drools from my toes
Hoping that I'd miss the needless bliss
Of every sin
And turn back
But my God is always with me !
So he armors my thoughts
Shields my pool of perception
Shields my mind from the impressionable
The seemingly sweet deceptions that utter erotic fantasies of false truth
My spirit so inclined to his faith
He froze the manipulative tactics of my past's teasing tentacles
Made a golden ash of them
They disappeared into the yawns of "genesis "
Slants my ear drums to the heaven's fountains of hymns and I only hear him
And together
We fashion this passion
This fire - a desire that once drank the forbidden wine of sins - now feasts on the best his word brings
All I had to do ?
Was submit ... Commit to him
He summoned the passion . With grace
Engraved his .. His commitment . To never leave ... A promise I can believe
And made our bond hence forth indestructible with his tears - olive oil
Geared my passion that forever thirsted for something beyond my comprehension to now .. Yearn him ... Always !
And never what he created
Or what wasn't of him
So ..... As I possessed with the fleeting feeling --. Outcast of the secular world
Walk this lonely road
I fear not my pain
Or
The stings of the ghost of residual emptiness
For he fuels my every stride ... With his word
Imprinted his signature on my soul
And I wear his spiritual ring ... Proudly
The words engraved ? : my god is always with me and with him I am incorruptible
Constantly
People on my journey
All forms of temptations that knock on my door
The door of memory
But my GOD is always with me
To strengthen me for the mental battles
To seal my lips with patience
And tame my tongue with wisdom
Flow like a never ending scripture
Psalms that polish my palms when raised to glorify him
Bless the goodbyes I wave
And cleanse the hellos I receive
As I walk the narrow road
Paying attention to all I didn't create
Learning from the flowers that are also tested
Though the signs of thirst are visible on the pale thin petals
The spiritual stalk holds them firm
Until the rain ... Falls like showers of an awaited love ... Ordained
And I pay attention
In the midst of acidity their roots didn't burn
protected they were by his love
And the weeds that tried to rob the soil of the best in the physical world ...
She ignored .. Fasted . And only hungered for god's word ...
That needed not the soil ...to feed her ...
Her head. Tilted high by faith
And her periphery armed with god's spirit
Distractions or the presence of the enemy shall not invade
For god is always with them
And my god is always with me.
His love continues to nurse this " new born"
Finding her way from the ungodly
So he straps my feet with the sandals of direction and protection
his verses
Imprinted on a whipped back ... And slowly with his word I heal ...
Gives me the vision to see my lessons in 3D .....
His word : walk with me my child and never question
As I walk , I repeat : my god is always with me
His greenery of love
Flourish within
Rids the soil of my being of this toxic emptiness
Churns my feeling of nothingness into a compost of invaluable purpose ..in mind , body and spirit
Now , growing in his image , with each step
I being to find my higher self
Along his path
But the floods of past ecstasy pass to kiss the weakness that drools from my toes
Hoping that I'd miss the needless bliss
Of every sin
And turn back
But my God is always with me !
So he armors my thoughts
Shields my pool of perception
Shields my mind from the impressionable
The seemingly sweet deceptions that utter erotic fantasies of false truth
My spirit so inclined to his faith
He froze the manipulative tactics of my past's teasing tentacles
Made a golden ash of them
They disappeared into the yawns of "genesis "
Slants my ear drums to the heaven's fountains of hymns and I only hear him
And together
We fashion this passion
This fire - a desire that once drank the forbidden wine of sins - now feasts on the best his word brings
All I had to do ?
Was submit ... Commit to him
He summoned the passion . With grace
Engraved his .. His commitment . To never leave ... A promise I can believe
And made our bond hence forth indestructible with his tears - olive oil
Geared my passion that forever thirsted for something beyond my comprehension to now .. Yearn him ... Always !
And never what he created
Or what wasn't of him
So ..... As I possessed with the fleeting feeling --. Outcast of the secular world
Walk this lonely road
I fear not my pain
Or
The stings of the ghost of residual emptiness
For he fuels my every stride ... With his word
Imprinted his signature on my soul
And I wear his spiritual ring ... Proudly
The words engraved ? : my god is always with me and with him I am incorruptible
Morpheus !
I call unto thee
God of sleep
God of dreams
If thy power is mighty and true to its turbulent history ... Then
I .. Humble servant of thee
Request only
To let me linger upon these memories
Let me inhale and moan to its soft touch
Let me feel the whips of its unrealistic guarantees across my back
Let me dive into the unexpressed feelings of appreciation it serves
Oh morpheus
Show the god of reality that u r stronger
That u r nobler
That there is nobility in clinging to that which the god of reality cannot make possible
But possible is the sweet clutch of dreams
Like the condensation milk that explodes like miniature bombs of satisfaction on my taste buds - this I find in sleep
In this sleep :
Possible is the reliving of the realistic and unrealistic of what I feel in my memories
Possible is the gentle touch that rescues my conscience from the reality that conflicts with my desired real
Possible is the temporary erosion of hopelessness , hopelessness only derived when eyes are no longer shut
All possible because of u
Morpheus
God of sleep
God of dreams
God of a real unreal - an unreal that reveals endless possibilities of what should or could possibly be real - only when in deep sleep
God of sleeping pills ... Like pills I drink .. Capsules of my tears I drink every night ...then I slip into a sweet coma
Enter the unreal cafe - eating the french toasted crossiants of fantasy
Drinking the strong black coffee of the impossible that I crave to be possible ... I sweeten it with the sugars of a deeper sleep
In this unreal cafe I begin to tap my feet , to the harmonies of anita baker in this jazzy slumber ......... Tapping my feet in ecstasy .... Forgetting these very feet are bruised and scorched by sun of the real reality
Oh morpheus
God of reality envies u .. I pray
Let him not try to mimic ur power by swaying is broken wand ..
To make real a ghost of my memory ... Ghost of an unreal reality I seek ....
Let the god of reality not get an opportunity to play with me
Oh morpheus let my eyes remain shut ....
God of reality is but a devil ...
A shakespeare teasing me with the best plays of possible impossibles ...
Only serving lies of a reality - a cotton candy of a real that melts too quickly when tasted ... Melts before u even savour
The god of reality is the ultimate deceiver
Makes the possible impossible to attain then gives u a sweet nothing of the impossible to taste
Oh morpheus with u
My unrealistic reality lingers at my desired pace...stretches , pauses and expands in my delight
Show this impersonator of a god that u r the supreme
One day my king I know that u will hypnotize the god of reality
So that in time even as ur servants may enjoy their kind of real in sleep , into reality there dream will flow like a schizophrenic wave
So that even with eyes open
Dreams have a real chance of being real ....
God of sleep
God of dreams
If thy power is mighty and true to its turbulent history ... Then
I .. Humble servant of thee
Request only
To let me linger upon these memories
Let me inhale and moan to its soft touch
Let me feel the whips of its unrealistic guarantees across my back
Let me dive into the unexpressed feelings of appreciation it serves
Oh morpheus
Show the god of reality that u r stronger
That u r nobler
That there is nobility in clinging to that which the god of reality cannot make possible
But possible is the sweet clutch of dreams
Like the condensation milk that explodes like miniature bombs of satisfaction on my taste buds - this I find in sleep
In this sleep :
Possible is the reliving of the realistic and unrealistic of what I feel in my memories
Possible is the gentle touch that rescues my conscience from the reality that conflicts with my desired real
Possible is the temporary erosion of hopelessness , hopelessness only derived when eyes are no longer shut
All possible because of u
Morpheus
God of sleep
God of dreams
God of a real unreal - an unreal that reveals endless possibilities of what should or could possibly be real - only when in deep sleep
God of sleeping pills ... Like pills I drink .. Capsules of my tears I drink every night ...then I slip into a sweet coma
Enter the unreal cafe - eating the french toasted crossiants of fantasy
Drinking the strong black coffee of the impossible that I crave to be possible ... I sweeten it with the sugars of a deeper sleep
In this unreal cafe I begin to tap my feet , to the harmonies of anita baker in this jazzy slumber ......... Tapping my feet in ecstasy .... Forgetting these very feet are bruised and scorched by sun of the real reality
Oh morpheus
God of reality envies u .. I pray
Let him not try to mimic ur power by swaying is broken wand ..
To make real a ghost of my memory ... Ghost of an unreal reality I seek ....
Let the god of reality not get an opportunity to play with me
Oh morpheus let my eyes remain shut ....
God of reality is but a devil ...
A shakespeare teasing me with the best plays of possible impossibles ...
Only serving lies of a reality - a cotton candy of a real that melts too quickly when tasted ... Melts before u even savour
The god of reality is the ultimate deceiver
Makes the possible impossible to attain then gives u a sweet nothing of the impossible to taste
Oh morpheus with u
My unrealistic reality lingers at my desired pace...stretches , pauses and expands in my delight
Show this impersonator of a god that u r the supreme
One day my king I know that u will hypnotize the god of reality
So that in time even as ur servants may enjoy their kind of real in sleep , into reality there dream will flow like a schizophrenic wave
So that even with eyes open
Dreams have a real chance of being real ....
The Linguist
My subconscious rises ..takes a seat
Tonight....
A naked sunset..conquers me ... In slow motion
skin on my back massaged by the breath escaping the " longing to be kissed lips " of the cluster of stars I lay upon
The sunset melts .. Transforms .stands erect .... My voice lost in the horizon
drops like sprinkles of steaming candle wax falling strategically .. Between and under my bosom
Areolas now ....entranced ..melted chocolate potion ...oh alice drink me !
The warmth ....burns my skin ..what I thought I knew of this experience turned to ashes
For that moment he melted on me ....
I felt him every where , under , over , inside ,between ...... Slowly
He brought a new sense of air ....Like a misty invitation that combs the hair of a 16yr old coconut tree hidden , now finding her way along the pacific coast ....
..... The lava on ur tongue .....made numb ....my taste buds
Beheaded the rulers that controlled " my perception of ur taste " - .... My tongue became the replica of ur lava
Legs stiffened .... encased by ur warmth
ur pyramid of khufu ...now drenched in the wonders of my undiscovered ...wonders of my egypt
Every stroke , a slow loving entrance that ended with a deep hard thrust to the soul ....sharp curved needles of pleasure burst each balloon of nervousness
Every stroke , dances to my moans , dancing around its beat , unpredictable , not knowing when the sharp slap of each thrust will hit me
for that moment I became a linguiSt ! Ordained in his purity ...my sweat shun like broken crystals and sapphires whose colour got richer ...as the heat began to birth a sunrise in me ....
I Spoke the language of a buttress root making love to the soil beneath
Clawing her back and thighs ...with his strong aged hands ...
Spoke the language of a tree in ... About to give birth to its first fruit
Languages that changed , slowed , increased its pace with the unpredictable tempo of each stroke
Languages only my subconscious understood
Every part of me he scalded sweetly , licked lovingly ....drank every drop of my honey
There is no resolution ....to this ....
The languages climax and evolve
They dine , mix , match ,mesh and kiss passionately in hurricanes of fury ...
There is no resolution ... To this ...
When the sunset meets the linguist
Love is always an exploration of a connection, a pure poetic concoction, - a tune , a climax of happiness ..unending
Tonight....
A naked sunset..conquers me ... In slow motion
skin on my back massaged by the breath escaping the " longing to be kissed lips " of the cluster of stars I lay upon
The sunset melts .. Transforms .stands erect .... My voice lost in the horizon
drops like sprinkles of steaming candle wax falling strategically .. Between and under my bosom
Areolas now ....entranced ..melted chocolate potion ...oh alice drink me !
The warmth ....burns my skin ..what I thought I knew of this experience turned to ashes
For that moment he melted on me ....
I felt him every where , under , over , inside ,between ...... Slowly
He brought a new sense of air ....Like a misty invitation that combs the hair of a 16yr old coconut tree hidden , now finding her way along the pacific coast ....
..... The lava on ur tongue .....made numb ....my taste buds
Beheaded the rulers that controlled " my perception of ur taste " - .... My tongue became the replica of ur lava
Legs stiffened .... encased by ur warmth
ur pyramid of khufu ...now drenched in the wonders of my undiscovered ...wonders of my egypt
Every stroke , a slow loving entrance that ended with a deep hard thrust to the soul ....sharp curved needles of pleasure burst each balloon of nervousness
Every stroke , dances to my moans , dancing around its beat , unpredictable , not knowing when the sharp slap of each thrust will hit me
for that moment I became a linguiSt ! Ordained in his purity ...my sweat shun like broken crystals and sapphires whose colour got richer ...as the heat began to birth a sunrise in me ....
I Spoke the language of a buttress root making love to the soil beneath
Clawing her back and thighs ...with his strong aged hands ...
Spoke the language of a tree in ... About to give birth to its first fruit
Languages that changed , slowed , increased its pace with the unpredictable tempo of each stroke
Languages only my subconscious understood
Every part of me he scalded sweetly , licked lovingly ....drank every drop of my honey
There is no resolution ....to this ....
The languages climax and evolve
They dine , mix , match ,mesh and kiss passionately in hurricanes of fury ...
There is no resolution ... To this ...
When the sunset meets the linguist
Love is always an exploration of a connection, a pure poetic concoction, - a tune , a climax of happiness ..unending
Emptiness and "M-T"-ness
I feel ..... Full of emptiness
A strange kind of emptiness
A meaning -full- kind of emptiness
Not just empty but .. "M"- "T"-
MT : mystical turmoil
MatriMonial tongue -twisting-turmoil
"Make my limbs disappear - turmoil"
" Make me smile kind of turmoil"
These sensations ..... Full of emptiness
What do I see after slurping and sucking on the flesh of a plump watermelon
Sank my teeth into her - devoured her ....consumed her "meaning" to soothe my "taste-buds" - ......MT
What becomes of empty - when its signature and meaning has left her- she too feels M T
Even emptiness - capsules a picture perfect house - plain white walls - no furniture ... Not a home but a house ...
Emptiness - a creature of dark ghosts - untold stories wearing silver robes of hope ------- a world that says more than is told
examine the word empty - stripped of this " meaningful nothingness "
Now "MT "- is just the turmoil
without the walls - no longer a house
Just water ripped from a bowl -
a dull nothingness - haNging in the balance of dark death and sweet death
Empty : a fruit without the passion
Malnourished clouds -without the stars
As for MT ?
Hmm
MT : the outer layer of dead skin -
the covering of a shell , a covering that once hugged the warmth of the shell that once felt the sweet moistness of a dead snail
Now this covering - invisible - saunters passing through the tormented spirits of the wind
Come to think of it .... Empty isn't that bad ......" MT "is
A strange kind of emptiness
A meaning -full- kind of emptiness
Not just empty but .. "M"- "T"-
MT : mystical turmoil
MatriMonial tongue -twisting-turmoil
"Make my limbs disappear - turmoil"
" Make me smile kind of turmoil"
These sensations ..... Full of emptiness
What do I see after slurping and sucking on the flesh of a plump watermelon
Sank my teeth into her - devoured her ....consumed her "meaning" to soothe my "taste-buds" - ......MT
What becomes of empty - when its signature and meaning has left her- she too feels M T
Even emptiness - capsules a picture perfect house - plain white walls - no furniture ... Not a home but a house ...
Emptiness - a creature of dark ghosts - untold stories wearing silver robes of hope ------- a world that says more than is told
examine the word empty - stripped of this " meaningful nothingness "
Now "MT "- is just the turmoil
without the walls - no longer a house
Just water ripped from a bowl -
a dull nothingness - haNging in the balance of dark death and sweet death
Empty : a fruit without the passion
Malnourished clouds -without the stars
As for MT ?
Hmm
MT : the outer layer of dead skin -
the covering of a shell , a covering that once hugged the warmth of the shell that once felt the sweet moistness of a dead snail
Now this covering - invisible - saunters passing through the tormented spirits of the wind
Come to think of it .... Empty isn't that bad ......" MT "is
Encounter with poetry
When i found u
I felt i found the book of secrets – to every fairy tale adventure book ever written , the exact location of all hidden treasures and who died for them , whose spirit shields it from the naked ‘ conscious’ eye
When i found u i became selfish- greedy !
Wanting to eat allllllllll of u – at once
Wanting to taste and love and hold u – for hours – unconcerned with the hours that stopped and watched us and grew tired ... hours that JUST envied
I wanted to hide u so that no one else knew u existed
U were the one thing i refused to share !
I wanted everyone to remain in their sickness of self and surface
I wanted everyone to remain dead
I wanted everyone to be reminded of their thirst , the slits in their lips that can only be quenched by my
New found source –
I Felt like nothing if u didn’t care , and for that moment u did and i
Caught u ,TRAPPED U , this universe , this supreme – i hid u in my darkness –
Climbed to the highest summits of the most frigid mountains of my mind
, knowing i can never be found or caught i took u out – as though u were the most fragile spiritual glass iv ever held – and i held u with such care , concern and fear
One drop of u – on my lips – i was renewed , thinking destroyed and reconstructed expanding enough not to be lost in the tunnel visions of ur power , i was moulded in the most intricate hands of the spiritual trees of life , they injected me , gave my roots a primary source , and the secondary thoughts that branched were strengthened and branded by wisdom , now being able to select what it drinks and not ..just taste the honey of the disguised fed by lust or deceit ....and i grew from this ‘ high ‘
Walked like moses with my heavenly glow , leaving the ‘ conscious ‘ trapped in an exorcism of perfect perplexity –this ‘ erect ‘perplexity – this wine became the new poison , the new deceiver , -
So again i climbed – climbed my mountains – stretched my ivy tentacles into my darkness and
Poetry – was gone
Frightened , displaced , deranged ,- along with the insatiable desire to vomit
For my veins to vomit
My ears to vomit
For my eyes and hands to vomit .-i searched beneath the earth , flew to the stars and interrogated them
Walked for miles parting the sand in the heavens plead with the moon , posted missing signs of u on almost every orbit , spoke to the lawyers of the milky way the patrol officers of the night forest - and still no sign of u
Shedding spiritual tears , these crystals fell into my palm now – a river Nile – crystals – crystal bearing images of u
But strangely , a presence appeared , .. i felt its touch – tracing from my ankle slithering its way to my inner thighs , and instantly i slipped into a coma – AND THERE WAS POETRY ! THIS TIME , IN HUMAN FORM – THE MOST LUMINOUS STRUCTURE – WALKING TOWARD ME – NOW FACE TO FACE HE KISSES ME , SOARING – LIGHTHEADED – LIPS SO SWEET SO FULL , - CRUMBLING UNDER THIS SPELL – SURRENDERING MY ALL TO HIM- MY OTHER HALF –
HE PARTED MY LIPS – TONGUE TASTING EVERY SALT OF ME , DIVING WITHIN MY VULNERABILITY , CARESSING HER WITH HIS STRONG CARING POETIC HANDS – TENDERLY AND HE STOPPED
HIS WORDS : THE BLISS OF A KISS CAN ONLY BE ENJOYED IF SHARED ...
...............POETRY ISNT SELFISH ... IT INSPIRES ,COMFORTS , LOVES AND SHARES ....... So share me
I felt i found the book of secrets – to every fairy tale adventure book ever written , the exact location of all hidden treasures and who died for them , whose spirit shields it from the naked ‘ conscious’ eye
When i found u i became selfish- greedy !
Wanting to eat allllllllll of u – at once
Wanting to taste and love and hold u – for hours – unconcerned with the hours that stopped and watched us and grew tired ... hours that JUST envied
I wanted to hide u so that no one else knew u existed
U were the one thing i refused to share !
I wanted everyone to remain in their sickness of self and surface
I wanted everyone to remain dead
I wanted everyone to be reminded of their thirst , the slits in their lips that can only be quenched by my
New found source –
I Felt like nothing if u didn’t care , and for that moment u did and i
Caught u ,TRAPPED U , this universe , this supreme – i hid u in my darkness –
Climbed to the highest summits of the most frigid mountains of my mind
, knowing i can never be found or caught i took u out – as though u were the most fragile spiritual glass iv ever held – and i held u with such care , concern and fear
One drop of u – on my lips – i was renewed , thinking destroyed and reconstructed expanding enough not to be lost in the tunnel visions of ur power , i was moulded in the most intricate hands of the spiritual trees of life , they injected me , gave my roots a primary source , and the secondary thoughts that branched were strengthened and branded by wisdom , now being able to select what it drinks and not ..just taste the honey of the disguised fed by lust or deceit ....and i grew from this ‘ high ‘
Walked like moses with my heavenly glow , leaving the ‘ conscious ‘ trapped in an exorcism of perfect perplexity –this ‘ erect ‘perplexity – this wine became the new poison , the new deceiver , -
So again i climbed – climbed my mountains – stretched my ivy tentacles into my darkness and
Poetry – was gone
Frightened , displaced , deranged ,- along with the insatiable desire to vomit
For my veins to vomit
My ears to vomit
For my eyes and hands to vomit .-i searched beneath the earth , flew to the stars and interrogated them
Walked for miles parting the sand in the heavens plead with the moon , posted missing signs of u on almost every orbit , spoke to the lawyers of the milky way the patrol officers of the night forest - and still no sign of u
Shedding spiritual tears , these crystals fell into my palm now – a river Nile – crystals – crystal bearing images of u
But strangely , a presence appeared , .. i felt its touch – tracing from my ankle slithering its way to my inner thighs , and instantly i slipped into a coma – AND THERE WAS POETRY ! THIS TIME , IN HUMAN FORM – THE MOST LUMINOUS STRUCTURE – WALKING TOWARD ME – NOW FACE TO FACE HE KISSES ME , SOARING – LIGHTHEADED – LIPS SO SWEET SO FULL , - CRUMBLING UNDER THIS SPELL – SURRENDERING MY ALL TO HIM- MY OTHER HALF –
HE PARTED MY LIPS – TONGUE TASTING EVERY SALT OF ME , DIVING WITHIN MY VULNERABILITY , CARESSING HER WITH HIS STRONG CARING POETIC HANDS – TENDERLY AND HE STOPPED
HIS WORDS : THE BLISS OF A KISS CAN ONLY BE ENJOYED IF SHARED ...
...............POETRY ISNT SELFISH ... IT INSPIRES ,COMFORTS , LOVES AND SHARES ....... So share me
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