Hello

What do you do
When saying hello to the one you lost
Is only a euphemism
A cover
A flimsy rag
A gum you stretch
To hide the monstrous
"I still love you " & "I still miss you "
Symptoms of unforgettable

I ask ....
What do you do
When saying hello has become an excuse
To grab their attention for one second
And you struggle to let that true love know
That you still care and
Silently you're hoping they don't hear
Without giving that " I really don't care " expression

Every time I think of you
I literally break the torchlight of my thoughts
So my feet won't be guided right back to you

Every time I see you
I place my stares in stray jackets of any direction that doesn't mirror you

Anytime you call my name
I punch the air out of excitement in my veins
Back slap my memory
And render you a fake blank expression

What do I do when our eyes meet
And all I can muster is hello
And I hate every bloody time I say hello
For hello says so much

What do I do on days when vulnerability exposes her womb on the edges of those hellos

I've always thought about you
(H)ow (e)vervescent (l)lyrical. (L)ovely and (o)h how witty you are
But saying hello isn't easy
I reveal too much of me that spent so much time away from you
Trying to heal
Trying free thoughts
Trying to emancipate the heart that can't read reason
Her ignorance naturally dictates that she defies wisdom
And she says hello
Hoping that you don't see
Hello , listen !
I love you , I've never stopped
Hello
I've missed you and I've thought about kissing you 3seconds ago
Hello
Hello is all I hope you hear
And not the pain
Not the love
The " I'll always love "
Or the " I'll always want you "

What do you do when saying hello
Is just a lie
When saying hello is never enough
What do I do on days when all I want to say is
"I love you "

Sensual Thoughts

12:00am

Mattress on the floor

Red silk sheets ...disheveled

Moonlight streaming in through sleeping window panes

Naked bodies

I feel him painting his breath along the valley of my spine With his nostrils

Warm tongue drizzles vague imagery

He slides under me

His warm skin melting in the moonlight

Blinded by simmering passions

Using cautious hands to guide anxious thoughts

Slowly

Fingers find fingers

Lips find lips

Tongue chained by its neck with the rope of intentions to tease

And kissing isn't easy

Allowing a sadistic desire to conduct the symphony of this tune played between tongue and lips

Wetness felt

But loins are encased with a sadistic control that melts wIth every obedient lick , slurp , bite , pause and kiss

Wanting to claw

But the fight is stalled

Consciousness dims slowly

Temperature moderated by the soft hummings between restless skins

Skins skinned slowly revealing sensually punctured sighs and moans stifled by the pillows of control

Skin just bracing

Blessing fingers with virgin olive oil

Fingers that beg to go further but are yanked by the silent outbursts of a commanding submission
 To the kisses that bloom with a flambuoyant
Ecstasy

Permission to go further highlighted in the red heat that binds us

But this Sadistic permission doesn't speak

so we lay there tossing in those sheets

Wading in the moonlit stream of sensual thoughts &desires that yearn penetrations -deep

Sinful Thoughts (Edited Version)

Sweaty cheeks pressed against the sheet less bed

Knees- now the chocolate pillars of this sturdy raft

Hands .....obedient civilians.....Roped to the right and left of correction

The mind - blindfolded with melting anticipation

Eyes -pasted shut with mute moans

Hairs one by one ,burnt to dust ,with every playful touch

Lips branded by his finger tips that ripped my yearning slowly, gently
Draping the knife's tip of unthinkable satisfaction
In every virgin strand of feeling in my lips that now shakes
As he strums the strings on my inner thigh's skin without touching
My screams that were manipulated like candy onto his stick
Rolled around nicely
Wet
Wild imaginings

Nails that were stuck in the height of transformation into claws with every slap

Tasting the salt of the sweet wetness that slid , shun and glided as it massaged his erect taste buds

Giving blood - drinking the youth of our fantasies with every thrustful kiss
None seemed to quell the passions that grew
Passions that blazed along the alignments of every kiss
Fire swallowing fire

Gagged by sensations that were either intentionally halted before the climax or pierced my moans with a satisfaction that left me bleeding for more

All these thoughts and more
All these sinful thoughts that
Wait and yearn
Imprisoned by control
Drinking the wine of bondage
As sinful thoughts sit and stare
Cloaked with Suppression

An Escape for Completeness

There is so much that escapes your eye
If only I owned time
To freeze the moments
When you look at me

There is so much that escapes your eye
Like my stares that thought of you
Hung the flag of your scent on its iris
You are my periphery

There is so much that escapes your eye
Like my words I whisper when you are near
The thoughts I long for you to hear
But you pay no attention to my lips

Could you let your stare linger just once
Taste my presence one more
Hold my broken smiles close
Toast my heart golden brown with a stare that's true and mutual

If just for one moment in time
Could you just pause
And look at me
Escape with me

I have spent countless hours
During lonely nights
Painting my thoughts of you on these scared cheeks with confused tears

If just for a moment in time
Could you just read me even if with your stares
Tracing your hands over the letters inked with the
Soul you own
A soul that still lays captive in your arms
For it is only when you look at me
The puzzle finds its missing piece
Its only when you look at me ,my being feels complete

A jealous heart exposed

Is it wrong for me to envy the roses that miss your touch as much as I do ?
Is it wrong for me to cry when the night sky hovers over your smiles instead of the rays of sun in my eyes ?
I entered your world as an infant
Now I'm a butterfly that envies the friendly insects of your garden
In pain I revert to the egg stage from which I came A horrifying state of consciousness
You seem not to understand
I used to know you so well - paramore
This love - of paramount importance to me
Paddling through my insecurities that
Sway my canoe of composure
In and over the undulating waves of excruciating pain
Do you know how my world quakes at the sound of another "her"
I've dipped you in the honey of purpose and the fairytale love that is only spoken of but never had
I've embalmed our connection with faithful sucrose made you the only host of my heart's show
"Happiness with you " every second of every day aired 24/7 on every channel of my pore
Fossilised your name , your voice
In my core
So that even in your absence those that wish to compete would know that this land is owned
This is simply my heart exposed
And I can't help but crumble
When the innocent elements of nature seem to threaten

A Dark Corner of The Mind

Tongue slips
Between the sizzling sassy slits of swollen lips
Limbs stapled to numbness
Chained
Battling the swelling of my tongues
As this strawberry gum of ecstasy explodes with every gasp on my taste buds
Eyebrows ...Eyelashes ...the hairs on my skin
Seeking Escape..
Sighs elevate
Hesitation played upon
Released I am from all thoughts of maintaining control
Forced to slip into the curse of bliss
That bites
Claws
Stings
Slaps
And rips through the epidermis of unsurity and fear
nervous
Trembling skin
Stuttering breath ....helpless ...excited
Pleasures increased ...sensations Become excruciating
As every moan is muffled by the confusion of the last climax that wasn't intentionally released
Signals to the brain disconnected
Illusions
Paranoia injected
The struggle between the inhibitions that prevent the senses from full acceptance and desire to truly submit ----ingested
Sanity left unprotected ...
Prone to scars
Vulnerability left unguarded
Its virginity prone to the bewitched
Darkness
Sweetness &Misery
Sensuality &Mauling
Sensibility &Madness
Sighs &Moans
Screams & Mutiny
As the mind
Fades
Fades into a world Of blissful comfort ...

Crystal Ball Of Silence

Hands must only reminisce about "the hands" that gave
Them life
That taught them to dance
That gave ten reasons to live within the essence of season..

Skin wrinkles ...
Skin must return to mortality
Skin must bear the scars and be blind to throbbings of her heart
Skin must play the flute of pain
Skin must .... Sing the song of silence aloud

Lips must forget ...
Lips need not remember "the lips " that gave her life
Lips need not remember "the taste" of silver linings
Lips need not remember the texture of lies
Texture of peace
........... Of bliss
Lips must forget true love's first kiss ...


Eyes shall cry no more ..
Eyes will bleed ...but not in the presence of "the one" that removed the veil of blindness
Eyes will bleed silence .. In silence ...
Eyes will bleed a forest of strength
Eyes will bleed volcanic eruptions of
Questions unanswered
Residual desires
Unexplained fury
Caged Confusion

All confined to the crystal ball of silence

You Stayed with me.........

I wrapped you in the daylight of my smiles
Spoke the things hardest for me to say in the instrumental stares and our rhythmic embraces
Mopped your scent and squeezed them into the bucket of my forever
You've stayed with me ....

I thought I'd forgotten you
My little cobra ...
Those days you swayed to the cellos and violins of my cries ......
Today ...I brave the stings
I removed your fangs with the hands of acceptance
And I sing for you

The days I washed the dishes at the sink
And felt your arms around me
Felt your hands gliding against mine as the pine and rose petals of the dish washing liquid
Meshed the rainbows of our palms
You stayed with me ...


Nights extend longer as I taste memories
Bearing unbearable thoughts of what's gone
But you stayed with me
You have become my lungs ...
The colour of my iris
The wind of my world .....
I feel you ...even if it may not be my wish ...

You've stayed with me all this while
You've stayed in every part of me
Now how do I define this person I've become ?
Simple I guess ...
Im the person that found her soul mate ....and had no choice but to watch him walk away ..

Why aren't you here ?

Why aren't you here ?
I've called your name
Time and again
But my echoes echo a lonely texture
A sandy desertion that lingers in my palette's tear ducts

Fingers hesitate to write about you once more
Finger's backbone puppetted by the pendulum of your absence
Swaying
From agonizing spasms to blissful memories
Fingers caress the letters on the keyboard
As if skimming the boiling syrup of your absence that lays present

Why aren't you here ?
I face the sun and coat my conscious sight with gray clouds
To find you in my blindness
The dream that cloaks itself invisible in the realm of reality

The liqueur of loneliness intoxicating the tertiary roots of thirsty taste buds
Thirsty for your presence

Why?

Why do I still miss you?

And the thought of not confirming to the power of your memory makes me
Nauseous
I am nothing
An oasis of misery

And the Connoisseurs of desolation stiffen and cramp the refinement of my pain as. I paint this
Pain in vane ...

Quilt

I made you a quilt

Normally
 you received my screams
Or a Broken glass that aimed for the main artery of your selfishness
But this time ...
You won't receive such ruby like gifts

I'll just give you this quilt


I waited for your return

I waited for your sorry ass lines to greet me
I waited for you to soothe me with those barbaric strokes in my womb that detested you
Hoping to one day birth the jaws of a lion to mutilate the buffalo fangs that injected me with the value of loneliness and nothingness.....as your devil's diction amputated God's connection from my spirit

But no more ...
I won't sing the slaves hymns knowing that massa's gona catch me before I leave the prison's entrance

No more
Shall I remain prisoner of a mind that slows to solution
Prisoner of hope constantly raped by fears with a fishing hook
Prisoner of hurt
A hurt that continues to seek help in the heart
Of a woman -that seems to be a hurt -aholic

So this time .....I make you a quilt
I'll sit in this corner you kicked me in
And stitch
Stitching the lacerations of my womb that wreaks your stench to the hues of the night's sky tattooed on my muffled outcries to the lord

stitching the miscarriages to the many nights you starved me
I can still hear the whaling of fright in the voice of my 2nd still birth lost in the folds and cracks on your instep

I stitch this quilt with fine leather of those belts- with the needles of my cries and bellows unheard ..... Sweet jesus ...forgive me for I have sinned

I stitch the leather brands imprinted on my back as I shielded our 1yr old daughter from your wrath
May her soul rest in peace
I stitch the silk in your false kisses to the nights you found it funny to strangle me ....releasing only at the very moment the death reaper opens the door and is one second away from claiming my soul

Oh I stitch ... My demonic anger
My hesitation
My dead soul
My silence

I stitch them all ..... A representation of your legacy my loving husband

And where ever you may be
Do note the hour of your death is near .
I have sealed your fate
Oh that poison and that coffee mate ...

I wait for your return ..to watch you slowly fade into helplessness

And I shall embalm your being with the venom of my anguish ...

My Egyptian god
I shall lay you to rest in the pyramid of my satisfaction
And wrap you in this fine quilt ..
Rest the crown upon your head ...
Crown made of the Skulls and Bones of my spirit
May you wear your Jewels with honour
So that your passage to the underworld be safe
And there you shall rule your rightful subjects
So long my king
So long the " me" that will never be ...again

Submission

That moment ...
Where you are making entry into my thoughts
Gliding the shaft of your will ...in & out
Hand gripped firmly around my depth
Confining limbs to solutions that end in futility

That moment ..
Where you trace over my brittle calligraphy of innocence with your ink of seduction
Placing the black plastic bag of fantasies
Over the face of my freedom ..
Asphyxia never tasted so sweet on
English tongues of self preservation

That moment ...
Where you handcuff my submission to the
Slapping belts of love in your breath
Gagging the mouth of my pleas , screams and grievances
With hard candy kisses


That moment ...
Where the chloroforum of your touch
Renders my mind helpless
Where your spirit embalms my soul
Where freedom is buried alive 8 feet under bliss

That moment ...
Where reality births fear
Fear becomes a reckless kid
And the kid grows in blindness seeing only grays of beautiful mermaids

When you release the kimono of confidence
Leaving me ... A curvy sculpt of vulnerability
And your eyes paint the me I know not on the canvas of eternal love in your mind ..
I'm shaking
Nervous
Heavy breathing
You journeyed to the centre of my core to find this "me"
But I trust you ..
So do .... Do with her as you please

That !

That hug ...lacking emotion
Feels like you're just holding
Not even reluctantly but bracing lazy arms to rest until they are ready to leave

That ear...never listening
Feels like you're wasting air
And it hurts !
Disappointment , disgust , clad crying demeanour
To see the most important of my being's hymns
Ignored by distracted ears


That voice...always talking
Feels like you're so consumed by the richness of your tone
And the screaming sound in my silence ..
Is silenced by the perfectly expressed highs and lows in your "I this and I that and I am "

That stare ...always insensitive
Greets my crumbled mind that lays crying in my eye's brown rays
Greets me with that " iv got to go in five minutes so make it quick " kind of gaze

That ... That which stands as a lamp
In the absence of "that" I feel the peace of nothing
In the presence of "that" I am nothing which is shot 8 feet... Further under nothing ....

"That" which makes me die
Clad in "nothing"
Amplifies the nothing
Gives me all of nothing

For Mama

My child ..
I shall not bear the agony of parting with you in death
So I depart at your birth
Its 9 days before you are here
So much to say
But time permits only - good byes!

But I ask of you ....
The last thing you must do for mama

In time I will regret
 its destiny for me to stay
But if I do I'll fail you
I shall not make you dependent on my hand that yearns for you
So much to say
But time permits only - good bye..

I ask of you
Smile ....and never look for mama
Trust no one my child
And let my absence remain the tallest cenotaph of the perfect love .....a ghost your mind will speak of and your eyes shall never see
A love you deserve
Depend on no one

This is the last thing I ask of you to do for mama

Please promise never to speak my name
The name of eternal love that must let you go
As a child I cannot give you what I too never had

Today I teach you what I've been taught
You stand alone
In this lonely world
And when you've grown
Change not your perception of the world my love


Walk the road of life expecting a quake with every step
Every emotion is a test ....
And saute your heart in numbness
So much to say
But time permits only - good byes

I love you ..but I can't tell you and I'll never show you
This is the lesson you must learn at birth
And such will be the case of many that will come

This is the last thing I beg of you to do for mama
Let not your first word be " mama"
For at birth I shall not hold you
But I shall only serve you the kiss of death on your forehead .....
And such will be the case of many that will come
I'll kiss you sweetly ...whilst my cheeks are wet and heart is on its last breath

I shall walk through the white doors
And crumble on the streets
I'll miss you
I'll miss you
I'll miss you

But smile for mama ....
So much to say my ave maria ...but time
Time only permits - good bye

Nigga you Corny ! ( Like Seriously ! What kinda bullshit is that ?)

So I remember this one time
I was with my ex - boyfriend
And I asked him
:" baby , did you miss me "

He said : " look into my eyes and you'll see "

Like seriously ! What kinda bullshit is that ?
I asked a question ...
I'm a straight -up person
And I require a straight-up answer

Stww ! Nigga you corny !


I remember this one time
Going out for a dinner date
With a guy I was pretty much exploring

And the first thing he greeted me with was
" Here babe , I saw these red roses and I got them for you "

I replied " oh wow ! So I remind of nothing inspirational ? Just the usual ? Iv seen this like ten thousand times ! This move is as cliche as your depth ! You bring me roses ? ...I wish you brought me a bouquet of your fears bowed with the sincerity of your admiration of me and petals wet with the dew of your honesty "

Stww ! Nigga you corny !


I remember this one time
I was about to make me and this dude official
So I asked how do you feel about me

He said : " my gosh ! When I think of you I can't eat , I can't sleep , you are the air I breathe "
Like seriously !!!!! What kind of bullshit is that
Now while alll that might be true boo -boo
Your imagination is the most oppressed civilization ruled by boredom !
Stwww! Nigga you corny !

Niggas seriously !

I'm not asking for too much !
Jeez ! Just use your imagination !

Stop serving the same "ole " corny ass lines

Damn !
You don't need to bring me the moon or the stars

Or buy me an island ..to make me happy !

All I'm asking is that you be unique

If I ask for a sandwich

Serve me the bread and let me eat the jam from our kiss !

Don't serve me breakfast in bed !
Take me to the kitchen. And let's cook together ! Feed me as we sit crammed into a corner like little kids !

No I don't want a damn dinner on a roof , with that stars and the moon !
How about we buy some random cook book in french ... Work as a team translating it to english , and try to cook the weirdest of the receipes . And still have microwaveable chinese on the side cuz there's a high possibility we won't get this shit right !

No I don't wana play freaking monoply with you ! How bout we re-create our version of africa ! I'll be the stranded hungry huntress and you dressed in a pillow case as shorts and a rolling pin in hand .....fierce warrior of the kitchen utensils tribe ..we hunt a bake chicken together ! Fight for it ,have angry sex and share the kill !

Let's argue about the best chocolate in the world !


Make a video ...telling me about all the weird things you love about me ...


Fellas I'm not asking for too much am I ?

To be kissed between my sentences ! And not at the end of " I love u too"


To be held ....whilst reading all the things you've missed about me , with ur arm around me and hand moving the hair from my neck as you oil my pores with your kisses

To have make up sex ! Only when we're making up the bed and not after a fight ! ...sex isn't suppose to be the bridge , medicine or seal ! ...when we crumble the most let's have a date damn it !

Fellas I'm not asking for too much

They say love is endless

But I find that most of you prefer it easy to rewrite the same story on the same road ...to show you can walk it better ...

How bout showing me the road I've never discovered
Love has endless paths ...

Let's take the ones that are rocky and mountanious ..let's go for the adventure ! Together
Get lost together
Get scratched together
Hang on the cliffs together
Hide in lonely caves together
Hurt together
Cry together

And any other way !

You'll just be
One
Corny
Ass
Nigga !

The addict is never home free...

They say
change your friends
Change your surroundings
Change your lifestyle

Get into rehab

So I
Parted with the dealers
Those of which encouraged the convos of "u"
Parted with my environment
The bed that knew your saltiness
The clothes in my closet . Inked by your grip
The food in my home that nourished you ..
 thumbelina version in my soul

I parted with the cocaine
Sniffing lines of you before breakfast
Cuz when I'm high on you
Everything just feels better
Tastes better
Looks better
In fact I do better

Parted with the blunts
Smoking my self into meditation
Levitation
Defying gravity
as I , Suspended by your spirit
Smoking .....
Just ......smoking ...intentionally blackening my lungs
Never was I afraid of "u" cancer
Always wanted a bald head anyway
So why not you be the cause
The reason
My reason for living and dying
Perfect isn't it ?

I parted with the crystal meth
Lethal inhales
Hallucinations
Senses ..in ecstasy
Tenses ... the past at the beckon the present at my call
At a place where a sweet something of nothing was enough.

but I parted ...
They deemed my behaviour unhealthy
Its unrealistic
Not of sound human nature

Well hell ... I'm not human
I'm alien
Some how stumbled unto earth
And feel in love with this human
Where I'm from we love with everything
Devoting every pore
Surrendering the core
Making you the nucleus

And somehow everything we've ever known
Pales ...pales into significance
You become the first hug
The first kiss

But I am not of your world so
To rehab I am bound
Spent 20 years of my life
Within that two 2 weeks
Being evaluated for sanity

Until I was finally released for the true test
Facing the elements
It was all too much
Sickening to see these so called doctors
Trying to Diagnose that which they've never seen
or felt

here I am on the open again
 the damage is beyond repair
My death is sealed in this world

Here I am ..
Face to face with
My cocaine
My marijuana
My meth

And the UFO hurls in to save me
Here I am
Standing in the middle
A choice I have to make
Between mother and father

Honest Thought : poetry

My poetry :
I use the pen of honesty to

carefully paint the calligraphy

of my feelings onto the sands of time ...

and

hopefully you read them before they wither ,

hopefully they don't obscure your vision ,

hopefully a grain of sand is not all you see ,

hopefully I become the sand in the hour glass of your spirit !

why does this amuse you ?

Why does this amuse you
When the darkness straps the light
Around its short leech

When the soil sucks the life from the tree
That struggles to touch the stars

When kidney has to be donated and leave its partner behind

When lungs become charcoal
When time crumples between seconds
Reminders of the "loss"
Reminders of the "cost"

When clouds cry while sun shines

Why does this amaze you

When sheep lose their wool
When vagrants were once doctors , politicians -the best of the lot
When life loses ..."Definition"

When the canopy is stuck
Consumed by the forest fire

When the heart has black holes for chamber
When blood loses its nucleus
Forsaken by veins

When the water falls
Droplets of infants thrown over a cliff
Skulls and innocence shattered by the rocks
Rising
Halos of death ..pure , mystifying mist

Why ....why does this amaze you
When the deformed cannibals of hurt
Lick and nibble at your organs
As they rope the arteries with barbed wire from slit wrists
Their desires to relish this exotic cuisine rhombas with the screams that beg mercy , screams that hallucinate , stretching their arms out to touch the hope on the horizon ....

Why. Does the chandelier of body parts
Mutilated spirits and
The precious stones of my love resurrected from the depths of Andrea del Sarto

.amuse ...you ?

Feel.....

Can you feel me
Breathing
Beneath

Nervous

Can you feel me
Trembling
From your Chinook

Inhaling your Sirocco
The blizzards in my veins

You are the father of nature
Controlling what stirs within

Pouring me into you
With grace
In between the pauses of my gasps
And frozen bubbles of the satisfaction -the unthinkable

Electric eels
Slit my achilles heel
Breaks the spokes of my mind's wheel
Tumbling down you track .. Pause ..
Rewind

 Can you feel me
Drifting in the punas of your finger tips

Lost in your lip's mistral

Let your spiritual eclipse
Fall like a hail in me

Tumbling through my mind's fog
And the mist skating around my heart

Don't taste me ....

Just feel me ..
Feel me like a tide
Feel me as you control the neap and spring in my strides
The ebb and flow in our stares

Just feel me
Glide through my entirety
Mind , soul and body ..like an earthquake
Forming the fold mountains of my spirits ..
And snow thy commitment onto the summits

Just feel
Feel the lines in my fingers
Move through these silk strands of our memories lined on my hand

Feel me .....
Graze your cheeks against the grass
And inhale the fresh scents and the morning dew in my mind's meadow ...
you are king of my veld and tell

Just lay here with me
Hold my hands
Polish my palms with ur cheeks
Hold me
Let's lay here naked ...
On the sand
On this beach
Under the net of the moon's rays

Fall asleep with me my sweet
Feel me as you sleep with me
In my heart
In my dreams ......

I miss you pt. 2

Its been so long
And the grass still grows

Its been so long
And the wounds still bleed

Its been so long

Love those days when I forgot
How you felt

Love those days when I forgot
How to speak to your heart with my eardrum's attention

Love those days when
Poems like these were thought to never be written again

Its been so long
But butterflies will fly for they were born to

Its been so long
But open wounds will always bleed

Its been so long
And the grass still grows ..it was meant to

Miss those days when I cried
Crying reminded me that I was still hurting
Reminded me that the memories still live in my today and yesterday

Miss those days when I died
Died in my consciousness
Died whilst diving for a "breath of life"
Died , died . Died , ...I miss dying

Miss those days when
"Those days" multiplied its meaning in every second and minutes felt like years
Of having my spirit burnt ...
And spun into the silk of missing you more

Miss those days when
I painted my nails with the stars of your affection
Took showers in ur milky way. Of missing me
When you used the drum stick of your lips to simmer the tremble of the cymbals in my skin

I miss you...part 2
That part of you
That "me&you"

Walk Away

Walk away ..
Please go

I am the mere quake in your soul
The scent you inhale
The hands of your memory
The clock that strikes in your future
The one at the alter

But I beg of you
Walk away
Please go


For it is too often
Kings and queens
Build sand castles
Trying to live upon the shore of fantasy
Until angry seas consume
We choke on the saltiness of the reality

Too often we try to fly
Try to swim in gravity

Trying to stretch moments
Trying to roar in these hidden cages

Just ...
Walk away
Just go ..

Walk away and live
Walk away for your sanity
Walk away for balance

But ... If I were you ...
I'd beg me
Implore me
Fight me
To stay ...
To kiss
To breathe
To live
To love ..
To be ...
To feel...... real .......

But. My sweet ....
Stay silent
Stay silent

My tears too shall fall in your absence
The dream I live is ours
But for you
Just walk
Never return

Just Run
Run away ....
Good bye my love

I can't tell her that I love her
I can't tell her that I want her to stay
I can't tell her that she is my everything ...
But where I am ,You're just safe without me ...

And I'll walk away .....I'll walk on ....

That's Why I Love You.....

Took you for a stroll
Into my "beautiful" paradise
As you perceived
But this time .

This paved more fears for me
Suspicions that were happy to march
During this cold december

And I watched you ..
Walking the cracked road of my mind
Eager ....

Passing idly by the trees of hurt
The leaves of your "love" which clung
Trees that prepared for winter
Waiting for you to fall
For of my nourished "love" you received no more

You passed idly by
But that's why I love you
So thoughtful

So optimistic
Trying to distract me
"Whims and fancies"

Your love was more important to me than the time of " thou" and "thy"

Importance now forgotten like the era of "thou" " and "thy"

You walked idly by
Ignoring the skeletons of doves
Skeletons of lions
Skeletons of cupid

They hung like crystals in the ceiling of my sky
Oh you thoughtful being and
That's why I love you

You walked idly by the
The hurricanes of breath wasted that laid upon the bamboos of strength
Cracking by each moment of your thoughtfulness to be optimistic and see beyond the sadness

That's why I love you so much !

You walked idly by
Sand of tears that withered before your feet into your breath of nothingness
And you inhaled this tear gas ...and endowed her scent as lavender ....
That's why I love you so much ....

And for this I shall continue to walk in those you pass idly by ....
Remembering that I lost your thoughtful love
With the memories of such sweet bliss
Such ripe peacefulness
Such pregnant gasps for your "thy " and "thou" again....

Kiss me when I'm Angry !

Kiss me !.
When fists fold to reach your face
When my teeth long to carve the pain you've rendered me ...into your lips
Simmer the hurricane in slow motion
With kisses that skip across a room
Like an air filled balloon

Let's tumble across the room as I struggle to avoid temptation
Slap my arms when
I try to slap yours away as they try to grab my waist
Push me into a wall
Clench my face - make it hard for me to breathe
As knees try to knee you in the groin
While the skin on my fingers scream to scald your neck's skin


Kiss me !
Fight me against the wall
As we stumble onto the floor
fighting
Sighs of disgust
Moans of sickening arousal
You approach my face
My lips tucked in
And you lick ...... slowly
 the angry river ...calms
 lips are released - they surrendered with much disgust !
I kiss your lips ferociously
Scratching everywhere !
Defacing your back and neck
  Leaving bleeding scars in the sand of your skin ...
Whilst longing to succumb to every pleasurable tinge .. ...
And at the end of it all I signed on my art work ...."I hated u ...but only for a moment "

Me , Him & The Last Sunrise

All my life
I've spent time carrying the burdens of those regardless of whether they love or hurt me eventually ..

And then ..."You" came along
You told me
"Ima go out on a limb here n assume you've been writing most if not all of tonite"

And I sunk into the " oh my ... God ' expression
It's been two conversations ...
And he paid so much attention
He not only inscribed my passion on his passion for a similar art we shared
But he knew when ..and how long I've been writing
As though intuition told him to hold me with sincerity !

He said "because of u I'll be able to see the last sunrise of 2012"

And I smiled . Trying to doubt the honesty .
Not wanting to believe that ... ...I .... Reminded him .. Of perfection ...
 He inspired me to write about something
I've never paid attention to as a poet
He inspired me to write about the first symbol of our engagement !
And I left him ... Only for a brief moment
To write poetry ...
A poem he inspired ... Inspired me to see myself in the clouds of his arms ...
To see the dawn of something unknown .. In the pink hues of love ! ....
He inspired me .. To feel free
Vulnerable in a place where the sunrise of his words accepted me ....

And at the end of it all just when I broke my own hopes . Expecting him to fall asleep
I messaged : " what u doin "
He said " Layin face to the ceiling....waiting...for that moment..6.32am.....when you're pencil...stopped ...."

Shock immediately strolled down my cheeks

I uttered again ... "You.... Waited for me ?
I saw the clouds wait for the sun this morning , leaves waited for branches , roots kissed the soil good morning and waited patiently for her to roll over and say iv missed you .. I saw the moon wait for the last star ..."

Are you sure you waited for me ...
He said : "Yes...you waited for the sunrise...and I waited 4 you"

I adored every vein of each leaf that hung on the moment I awaited for years
But It hurt just as much
For it made me wonder ... Did it take someone so long .. To actually realize my worth ....

Write me poems......

My most erotic fantasy
Is to have dinner with my boyfriend
In a room
Just us
A bed on the floor .....
The room lit by the shimmering saliva that drools from the lips of sun and moon kissing
 he ... Would feed me strawberries
As I am blind folded

And as we lay in the spooning position
He would read all the poems ... He's ever written ...
About love
About us
About me
About fears

He remembered all the times I sighed
" Babe ... Just write me poems"

My sweet .... I want to feel your voice ... In ways unimaginable
Defying the cliches of touch
Want your voice to discover me ... Stirring the dust beneath my feet ... And melting the oil that froze on my skin .. From the kiss of moon's rays ...
Let your voice .. Achieve all that is unattainable by touch ...

I want to hear the poems
The kind that makes me feel terrible for all the times I hesitated to care enough for you with every second

I want to hear the poems
About our children you feel in my womb , every time you've been on bending knee , your arms roped around my waist ... As you anchored your ear to my stomach ...

I want to hear the poems
About The awkward kisses we have ... That felt more alive than the planned or perfect ones ... The awkward kisses where teeth reminded us that they are present ...
Where tongues were tired .. And argued .... And lips interlocked for minutes .... Just perched on the bench of our chins ...

I want to hear the poems ...
About the nights we fought ...
And the night we laid in bed ...
Eyes that meet along the path of hurt
And our anger wasn't nullified
By the typical " make up sex "
But by saying sorry ..
Laying in bed .. Legs that hugged .
And we listed the ten favourite things we love about each other
.....And kissed with each one said ....

" I wana hear your voice "
" I wana hear your poems "
" I wana hear you voice "

Break the mirrors that hold ur reflection and carve ur initals into my palms !

Let your voice become my liver's neighbour !

Write me poems ...
With the fangs of ur voice
Make violent incisions on my mind ..
And let those beauty marks ...those scars of love . Blossom into wounds that open ...
Wounds that breathe ur soothing voice
Mellow tempo ..hurt me with symphony of love

Write me poems .. My sweet
Write me poems ...

I'm jealous !

I'm jealous ..
I hate that the air feels the glory of your inner beauty more often than I do

I hate your clothes !
Wish I could protect you, shield your image with the silk of my love

I hate your shoes !
They touch your feet more than I do
Provide a sole to shoulder your instep
Wish those were my shoulders !

I hate your phone !
Especially when important calls
Place our convos or kisses on pause
Wish my heart beat was the busy tone on your phone ...preventing all calls .... ..
I'm jealous ! ...

I hate your phone !
Every second that damn key pad robs me of your touch !
I hate every time you blink !
Robbing you of a second to see me
See my love for you

I'm jealous of your pillows ...
She receives your screams , your tears ...
The woman that comforts you
When it isn't possible for me to be there ..

So....
instead
Of being cliche .. And saying I love you
I'll simply copy and paste this tasteless gum of a phrase into my heart's left chamber ...hit the translate button that lies in our kiss ..
Which reveals ...
"I'm jealous, is simply the heart's way of saying
My love for you ... Is beyond love .... "

Ice-Cream

I have a craving for ice cream
Especially when topped with strawberries and chocolate syrup !

So if you'd indulge me
Can I have two scoops of your chocolate weakness , one scoop of vanilla flavoured bliss
And a cotton candy explosion of ur voice ...

Pack those frozen delights into a cone of peace of mind ....

Taking continuous licks
As the flavours melt and blend ...
Allowing them to drip on my hands ..

Licking ... To heart's content
Licking with eyes closed
Licking ...as your voice explodes sleeping thoughts

Licking ... Sending taste buds into a fiesta that celebrates you ...

But wait not yet .... Can I have one more scoop of candy explosion ? And this time drizzle the chocolate warmth of your embrace all over it !

And I lick .....
Eating every bit of it ...
 slurping , sipping , slicing my tongue through my favourite parts of you that are frozen ..

Can I have these treats
Daily ?...
Clog my arteries with your sweetness
Gain the weight of your affections ...

I have a craving for you
And I want you regardless .... My human ice cream ...

The Last Sunrise (December 31 ,2012)

Lazy clouds ....

 Stretched on still air 

 Clad in their white robes kneeled and prayed to God ! 

As coconut trees slept , the honey bees got them dressed . For the coming of the last sunrise of 2012

Birds chirping ... 

Calling their friends from the east 

As though late with the morning breakfast .

Clouds unveil their beauty ... 

Bright white patches ...against .. Blue berry hues

And the eagles remove the pink tulips from the heavenly grey curtains of the east ...

 they glide slowly ... Kissing their once familiar positions 

The sky exhales 

her morning breath flows 

Covering the city with its blessings ..

And green foliage awakens ..

They rustle .. 

Unfamiliar black birds visit the leaves and 

Rub cheeks in friendliness 

Branches smile ... And offer their finest treasures 

The sky so unsure 

Tries a bit of all her make up to welcome her lover .. 

She tries a shade of orange.... 

Brought to her by the winds of west 

And checks her reflection in the mirror of south and her light blue complexion skates like a 16 year old boy's frisky hands under the white skirt of innocence ... 

She was radiant .... 

But it all seemed too much for her 

So she tried a different colour ..

Sky turns white .....

 hesitates this time .... 

Now she flirts with hues of pink ...

In my opinion ... It was perfect ..... 

Flattering 

And cooled the blushing in her nervous smile 

But as she looked to the north for approval ..

The winds were not impressed ...

So she rinsed her face with angel's tears ..

My pores stood In awe ....

 her true beauty and profoundness lay naked on her simplicity ....

Birds now perched on the thrones of tall coconut branches ... 

Winds , leaves , trees , soil , roof tops , electric cables ... 

Gave a moment of silence 

 moment of reverence ..... 

And the sun ......

Nature's passion frozen in time ...

Spinning on the axis of wisdom ....

He walks slowly through the wind 

And songs resound ......" The king is here "

He greets his impatient lover 

 she .. Envelopes him 

Throwing herself before his mercy 

Desperate for his scorching kiss 

To be wrapped and held tightly by his rays 

And the grey curtains hide their ecstasy ... 

As if mindful of the young budding dandelions ... And hibiscus ...who were too young to be taught of pollination

But grey curtains didn't linger long 

It was time for the sun and clouds ....

To journey ... 

As the winds kissed their feet with excitement 

It was time  

For the prince and princess of the galaxy to ride the unicorn of the last day ..... Waving to the humble subjects below