I'm Sorry

I know sorry isn't enough
But for the record - I'm sorry
I'm saying sorry cuz
1- I was wrong

And

2- even though I know sorry can't fix this I don't wana hear u say " and just imagine ! U didn't even have the decency to say sorry "

So
I'm sorry
I'm sorry you failed to hold me long enough
Those nights I laid beside you
only to be spooned by my loneliness
Those nights my pride struggled to muffle the screams for your attention

I'm sorry
Sorry that breakfast , lunch , or dinner and even the sexy lingerie wasn't good enough
Or the tie I bought you for christmas that you never wore
Or the slaps of harsh words served chilled when having your space was more important ...

I'm sorry
Sorry that I couldn't earn enough money to support your whims and fancies like those whores you call male friends or the ones from the strip clubs
you thought I never knew about
Yes I'm sorry that you took those girl's to our house when you thought I was out
And yes I know that one of them has a baby girl by you
And you still hide that
And I'm sorry I hid the fact that I knew that for the past 5 years...

I'm sorry
For the night jerry came over
And he listened to me ..
He was everything I wanted you to be from the tone he carried in his endearing speech
And you see when a woman's drunk
Thinking about the 5 years she's wasted in a marriage that no longer holds any substance and she's begging for a thirst of renewal
to be quenched ...
Many temporary things can calm the thirst
And there came jerry
Strong , Sexy , sensitive , sensual
Held me like I was his momentary woman of purpose he envisioned me as his definition of perfection
And shared the vision of who I truly was with me
And you see ...
Sigh
When ....when a woman is weak , and vulnerable
And loses her bearings ..
Instead of a straw ...
She clutches to a razor blade if she must
Slits the wrist of her dignity ....to feel confident , loved , desired and drenched in a world where she feels number 1 even for a moment

And I .....
I was that shameless woman ....
That saw jerry's words like a perfect dick
And I longed to ride it
I straddled the erect affection he grazed against my ego ...
No longer wanted to feel this on me but inside of me
Deep ...
Hoping that I can crawl into a world
Where I'm the only girl
Somebody's girl
Anybody's girl

And when that dick riding pulsating
fun was over
 My conscience simmered on the brink of a calming ecstasy ....and I realised
That it's my husband I still want
 So baby I'm sorry
Maybe
Just maybe if you can forgive me for having sex
With
jerry
 sam
terry
 joshua the pool boy
the gardner whose name I can't remember
 your uncle that came over last sunday for a piece of cake after church
 and not forgetting your best friend .......sigh well
Your best friend was here before you came
But like you ...I've made some mistakes
Why should we let 5 years go to waste ..
Please forgive ..
P.s : I wasn't the case of all this .....