Discovery

I find that in my hate .. I can still love you
You leek droplets of frustration from the porous ceiling pipes of mistrust
Into the rusty bucket of my patience

Patience is now a patient
Tattered and torn
Broken , sore , cold

I find that sometimes profanity slingshots its way out of my mouth
But luckily wisdom exemplifies outstanding fielding and catch these bullets before they kill you

I find that you are weak and I am strong
And I'm nothing but weakness
And you are nothing but weakness
And we plough the lands of barren conversations
Hence none are ever fruitful

I find that we are both shackled
You are shackled to insecurities, misjudgments , a mind that transcribes verses on your tongue without the benefit of intellect
But if I interject ... I find my self also shackled to my ego of trying to force you to understand that your misguided perceptions conceived by an abstract thought fertilized by a surreal expectation of me birthed nothing but convenient truths and fantasies ... I wish you would use contraception before you birth these thoughts or at least listen to me so that I can avoid the gruesome abortion of your happiness

I find that you make me your world
Caring for me has become the axis
And you have me rotating around the sun of control
Whilst you penetrate the ozone layer of my mind with your carbon thoughts
Caring whilst consuming
Teaching whilst you are toxic


I find that you claim to be my friend but they say a dog that brings a bone carries one
And you carries lantin posts , the amazons , cities , states , hell .. You even carried the fossils of my past

I find that your betrayal thought me to respect you
You fondled my trust so sweetly she spread her legs the first night submitting to you her virginity
Then you told your friends of sweet her secrets tasted
I find that I trust to easily
Leaving myself bankrupt cuz I give my secrets on credit


I find that even the unforgettable will soon be forgotten
For the hardest thing to do sometimes
Is to find yourself
Sometimes the hardest thing to do , is simply doing what makes you happy

Sometimes I find , that the hardest thing to do is is to be honest and happy simultaneously...