Today!

Today I Speak the truth

I no longer wish to hide beneath the shade of illusions

I no longer wish to let my words be crippled by fear


I no longer wish to hide under blankets of smiles and shiver

I no longer wish to taste fading memories

Today I speak the truth

I stayed under the shade of illusions
To hopefully find strength in the future that no longer needs a past
That past
Truth is ... I need that past to shade my steps into the future .. Even though I walk on my tears - burning stones
Their source is the head corner stone of my happiest moments
That past ...will always sit on the throne of my future ...or is that subject to change ..as my happiness was?

Today I speak the truth
My words were always crippled
A crying anger ...that stayed angry
It was scared
Too angry to search for peace
 for peace of mind still stayed with the source that was once the pillars of my mind ....

I let these children .. Creep
Not by day
But by night
So that their howls ....may be guised by the darkness ..
Oh what safety could be found in those velvet arms
But I ....
I crippled my speech
Until she was sure that she can watch the children of her passions in her past and walk ...walk away ....
Hiding her compassion
Hiding her love ...with much false pride despite her delay


Truth is ...I want to live my illusions
I want to wear my dreams
I want to sprinkle the salt of my fears on my meals
Arousing not weakness
But the savoury senses of my strength

Truth is .....I want the sunset
The sunrise
The moon
The sky
Truth is ... I simply want you ...
That unattainable splendour
That breath of life ...