The Bi-polar me

I'm taking a second to inhale
To cry as I clutch to memories that now run pale
To love my tears and the anguish in my fears
To love all that makes me seemingly weak
To grow where the shattered me sleeps
To ride the horse of hopefulness into the dusk of sanity
As I ride this horse I hope this foreplay
Arouses the power of my soul
Giving rise to a new me


I'm taking time to express
My thoughts: restless, gliding down the steep slippery slope of a reality stitched together with demonic fantasies

My actions : indecisive , playful , not ready to accept or be confined to a world in which u do not dwell

My emotions: longing to be owned by the higher me , the wiser me , the better me
 The me I am yet to find
My mistakes leave me spiraling out of control in a hell iv created and this I feel the better me is elated .. She whispers : in my absence u shall appreciate

When I talk u don't listen
I lead u don't follow
So I'm gone
Now die in ur sorrows
I hate the me that ignores my conscience

The me trapped in a hurricane of " ken and barbie , bella and edward , cinderella , snow white, romeo and juliet "

 The me that says no and means yes
The me that tries to hard to please every soul, deserving and undeserving of my love

So I'm taking time to inhale
To inhale the strength of my pain
Drink the wine of lessons learnt from my mistakes

To be intoxicated by the purity of a concoction containing the best of me
I'm taking time to cut my veins , releasing the foolishness that flows within
Draining my subconscious of misguides impulses and whims

I'm taking time to rejuvenate the dessert in my soul
Her lips : dry , cracked and thirsty
She has not the energy to scream at the door of my eardrums anymore
Iv drained her with my stupidity

She now lies still
Veins scorched and blue
Tired: her veins that are constantly pricked by flashbacks of my constantly ignoring her
The nights we fought
Each time I ignore her plights to pay attention and heed to her wisdom - I scar her
Iv stripped her of her title
Removed her voice and gave it to my most destructive and unquenchable desires

So she watches me
Eyes begging : won't u have mercy
Yet she musters enough pride
She prefers to bleed to death

So I'm taking time to feed her
With my apologies
Restore her youth and faith in me with the elixir of my submission
And make way for the dawn of a new me

I'm taking time to lick the wounds of my mind
A diamond iv allowed too often to be dropped into the mud of undeserving hands

So now I take time to revere and implement. The principles of the higher me
Paving the golden road to welcome home the wiser me
And alas, its time to respect the better me .