Tormented !

I lay here
Once more ...
Reading as usual ...
and as eyes close for a silent pause of rest

My lips were bitten
The memories keep flashing
Like a cold sweat of longings
Nothing seems to work in these moments of torment !

My tongue begins to taste my upper lip
Flashbacks that range from rage filled kisses to " I am yours ...always " kind of kisses
And I try ...
Try to fight and resist
But it's pointless

I remember the :
Touch
Scent
Warmth
sweat
taste
stare
awe of ..your presence
The voice ..


These spasms of remembrance
These epileptic fits of still wanting it all


The skin longs to feel ....and sigh in contentment
The heart longs to beat to the tune of life again my eyes ...are but barren lands
Hands are but starved children
Feet are but dying soldiers

Wrapped up in this blanket of " pain and true love "
I'm scared to give into these spasms
To re live and make love to the memories
To kiss the invisible lips that taste mine
As I lay half conscious

I'm scared to clench the hands that
Pull me closer
I'm scared to inhale ur breath !
To whisper how much iv missed and loved u
...Love you
I scared to give into to the spirit that torments me ....
I'm scared to resurrect the desires , strong , bold and fearless ! Clad in the poison of witch's hurt you've served ...

I'm scared to love it all .... Again
scared to think that I'd love . Loving it
scared to think you would become my favourite nightmare ...

Oh these sweet torments
And the unforgettable moments like leeches that suckle on love reserved
When ?
When will it end ?