Touching Elbows

Lying in bed ,

I attentively count all the white grains of the wall , as if awaiting the jury's decision
Shackled to thoughts screaming to b heard ,
my skin that longs to be embedded on every level with urs ...

So I lay I lay chilled , paralyzed. By ur selective bodily responses ....

Nervous , anxious ,

Facing the left and ur facing the back of my neck ,

eyes closed ,

I can't stand not to c ur pierCing stare that blossoms the real me

So instead ...

We touch elbows

This excruciating pain strangles my every nerve ending ,

Silence , silence that scorches the veins of an empty shell ,

Silence : like the moment a crippled , cold , confused tear crawls slowly down a cheek of shatters dreams , hopes. And a lacerated heartbroken emotion

I wanna skate. Slowly through ur mind ever so eloquently

Correct my mistakes etched in ur mind so diligently

Legibly my emotions sign : I'm sorry

Sorry for what u say : u know not what uv done

Well I'm sorry for what we've become ,

this isn't us ,

 this isn't trust ,

trust we built ,

 fought for , protected , pledged that it'll be untouched,

lovable : ur best quality I suppose ,that now raps it self , like cold mist. On folded untrusting fists ,

I c u have ur guard up ,

my mind ? thoughts. That Wander through. Corn fields , scared , alone , lonely , shivering

resolution from u I seek
but instead we bump elbows , touch elbows ,

: awkward silence ,
emptiness : a mind starving for an answer , dying for ur answer ,
 hands long for ur affection : ur affection that kills me so softly and its the only death I prefer , cuz its then and only then I feel @ home , at peace , at rest , ...

 But instead we. Touch elbows : a reminder that , I miss u or u miss me or a sign that I'm leaving u or ur leaving. Me .. The inevitable ..

 So we touch elbows :

 imaginations criss cross over the solutions to this jig saw mind game ,
yes I said it a game : to c who crumbles first , who's gona be weak , so weak that uncensored words tumble ,
so scared that fears are humbled ...
And comfort u with birthing lies ,
 lies that help u get through every second
 and u see I know this weak one is me cuz. .
 I don't wanna touch elbows ...